CHAPTER EIGHT

A week later I returned to our office after teaching one of my classes. I walked in to find a raven haired woman searching the contents of Allison's desk. Although I could only see the woman's hair instintively I knew that it was not Allison. "Hello?" I called out to the stranger. Her head popped up and I was greeted by a familar smile. The same hair, cheek bones and cocky grin. The only difference was her eyes they were definately not her sister's dazzeling baby blues. No Nicole had deep brown eyes. Of course the first time we met I don't think I ever saw her eyes. In fact I seemed to recall that during our entire luncheon the woman never removed her sunglasses. "You're not Stan." She said slyly.

"What was your first clue?" I teased.

"No bow tie." She said dryly. "And you have much nicer legs."

"Ah that Kendell charm." I sighed.

"What can I say?" Nicole smiled brightly.

As she stood and I noticed that Nicole stood a few inches shorter than her older sister. "Why do get the feeling that when the two of you were growing up nobody's sons or daughters were safe?" I could not help but feel the Kendell charm eminating from this woman. Nicole just laughed. "Stephanie Grant." I extended my hand knowing that the chances of her remembering our first encounter was slim to none. Nicole accepted my hand and shook it warmly. "Nicole Kendell." She greeted me. "But you already knew that." She added in a questioning tone.

"Actually we met years ago." I answered hesitantly.

"Oh Dear." Nicole sighed. "What did I do?"

"How do you know you did anything?" I asked.

"Law of averages." Nicole answered flatly. "Come on. You will have to fill me in on just how big of a jack ass I was. To be perfectly honest most of the nineties are a bit of a blur to me."

I was more than a bit surprised by this woman's candor. "Well you and I had a luncheon meeting that you drank your way through and then stuck me with the check." I explained hoping that I would not offend her.

"I'm sorry that really doesn't narrow it down for me." Nicole explained. "So tell me Princess is there more?"

"It is not important."

"I'm afraid it is." Nicole added honestly. "You see I take my steps very seriously. One of the twelve steps is that I need to apologize for the trangressions I commited while I was drinking. So out with it what did I do?"

"Well I was working on my thesis and you agreed to arrange a meeting with your sister so I could see the family diaries." I explained.

"No?" She was shocked. "Wow I must have really been pissed off at Allison. I'm sorry that I set you up. That wasn't a nice thing to do."

"Water under the bridge." I brushed it off.

"More like gin under the bridge." Nicole added with a smirk. "Hey I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I spent far too many years lying and hiding my drinking. I am a drunk." She said with a shrug. "I no longer hide it. Instead I prefer to have it out in the open."

"No problem." I replied warmly. This was definately a different woman than the one I had met almost a decade ago. "So why are you ransacking your sister's desk?"

"I need a smoke." Nicole explained as she resumed her search. "What can I say I traded one vice for another. I had the train ride from hell on the way up here. There was this kid behind me who only stopped coughing and sneezing long enough to kick the back of my seat. His Mother was to preoccupied with his screaming sibling to notice. I swear that family follows me everywhere."

I couldn't help myself but smile. Nicole was so much like her older sister. "I hate to be the one to break it to you . . . but Allison is trying to quit smoking."

"Yeah . . . yeah." Nicole snorted. "I am very familar with how the amazon tries to quit smoking. She always keeps a pack hidden away for emergencies."

"Well she did have a pack tucked behind the file cabinet . . ." I grimmaced recalling my actions. ". . . but they met with an unfortunate accident."

"Get away from my desk." Allison's voice boomed from the doorway.

"Whatever Amazon." Nicole grunted at her approaching sibling. "Where are you cigarettes?"

"Someone threw them out the window." Allison growled as cast an accusing glance in my direction.

"Got her trained already." Nicole chuckled. "Good for you! Don't you take any crap from the Amazon here, sometimes she is just too butch for her own good."

"Se tromper, petit soeur." Allison said quickly.

"Menteur!" Nicole scoffed. "Lesbienne?" "Well that last word was fairly easy to figure out?" I thought to myself. "The only other word I understood was petit. So what do we have little lesbian. I so do not like where this conversation is going!"

"Non. . . " Allison stuttered and was answered by a disbelieving glare from her sister. " . . . oui . . . complique'!" Allison groaned in frustration. It felt like I was watching a foreign film without the benefit of subtitles. The only sense of relief I felt was I now knew who Allison had been speaking French to a few weeks ago.

"Qu'est-ce qui se passe?" Nicole pushed.

"Rien du tout!" Allison asserted. But Nicole just stared back at her in disbelief. "Mon ami."

"Excusez-moi!" Nicole chuckled. "Pourquoi? Une belle femme. Vous etes d'accord, n'est-ce pas?"

"Oui." Allison sighed as she looked at me. "Elle est vashement belle. Ce n'est pas bon."

"Quelle dommage." Nicole looked sadly over at her sister.

"Excuse me ladies." I chimmed in. Enough was enough. "I would like to point out that someone in this room doesn't speak french and she is standing right here. Normally I wouldn't mind but I get the distinct feeling that I am being talked about."

"No." Allison lied.

"Yes you are." Nicole volunteered as she was greeted by an icy stare from her sister. "What? Well we were." Nicole scoffed. "Get over yourself Amazon and take me to the lunch you promised me. Stephanie would like to join us? Stretch is paying."

"Uh Nicole . . . I asked you to visit so I could discuss something with you." Allison explained looking suddenly embarrassed.

"Okay." Nicole began slowly. "So you want to talk about Stephanie when she is not in the room."

"Couillon!" Allison spit out.

Nicole's jaw dropped. "I'm telling Mom." She threatened. Allison just glared at her sister. "Sorry Ally." She said quickly. "Stephanie it was a pleasure meeting you. I'm sure that we will meet again." Allison started to push her sister towards the doorway. "Hold on Ally." She slapped her sister away. "Stephanie I want to apologize again for what I did to you before."

"What did you do?" Allison flared angrily.

"I will tell you at lunch. Now feed me." Nicole demanded.

I watched them arguing their way out of the doorway. They exchanged a few more phrases in French which I was quite certain should not be translated in public. "My God, their Mother must have the patience of a saint." I thought to myself. "Maybe the brother is normal?" I said aloud.

Later that evening I returned home alone. As I stepped up onto the porch I could hear the Kendell sisters bantering just outside of Allison's apartment door. "Nicole did you listen to anything I said at lunch today?" Allison's voice rang out in frustration.

"Yes." Nicole responded calmly. "Did you?"

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"Allison I let you rant and rave about this tired ass list you have for why you should stay away. Frankly if you believed any of it you wouldn't need to keep saying it. I would like to add that maybe you need to have an operation to remove that stick that is so firmly shoved up your . . ."

"Nicole!"

"The truth hurts?" Nicole added gently. "Ally I love you but you are driving yourself insane over this. I listened to all of your excuses. I also saw the way you looked at the girl."

"News flash little sister. I'm a lesbian she is an attractive woman I checked her out. Big surprise!" Allison argued.

"That wasn't lust I saw in your eyes." Nicole countered. "Well not just lust. Allison you are very lucky she had her back to you when you entered the room. I never thought I would see you look at someone like that. I'm happy for you. Why can't you allow yourself to be happy too? I understand your track record hasn't been great."

"Better than yours." Allison shot back.

"Liz Taylor has a better track record than I do." Nicole teased. "Of course she has been married fewer times than I have. Allison stop taking care of everyone but yourself. You have worked so damn hard to get to this point in your life. Take the next step. She isn't Chris or Jessica and she is certainly not Brenda. And frankly not a one of them deserved you. I like this girl and so do you."

I was touched by Nicole's endorsement. Granted I was only assuming that it was me they were discussing. I suddenly became very aware that I was once again evesdropping. I stepped into the hallway and made presence known. "Hi." I called out sheepishly to the approaching pair. "Hi." Nicole responded in a surprised tone.

"Hey you are just getting home?" Allison smiled at me.

"Wait you live downstairs?" Nicole laughed uncontrolably. Allison nudged her sister. "What? You going to call me a bastard again?" Allison held up a finger in warning, silencing Nicole.

"I'm going to drive this idiot to the train station." Allison explained. "Unless you want to change your mind and let me drive you home?" Allison asked warmly.

"The train is fine." Nicole responded gently.

"You know if you let me help you get your driver's license back you wouldn't need to take the train." Allison pushed.

"I don't know." Nicole began hesitantly. "That judge was very clear that he would see to it that the Commonwealth would never grant me another drivers license while I was still breathing. At least I think that is what he said, I was pretty loaded during my hearing."

"I'm sorry I missed that one." Allison groaned.

"Well my DUI hearings were like my weddings. If you missed one you could always catch the next one." Nicole teased.

"Nikki . . ." Allison began sadly.

"Hey I need to face what I did." Nicole said firmly suddenly looking much older than her sister. "You can't save me. I'm the only one who can. This is the way it works."

"I hate it." Allison grumbled.

"I know." Nicole sighed. "Now if we are done sharing with the neighbors I have a train to catch."

"Come on." Allison conceded.

"Bye Stephanie." Nicole addressed me. Then she pulled me aside and whispered, "Good luck. Just remember she isn't as stronge as she thinks she is."

"Thanks." I whispered in response as she pulled away.

Allison looked at us suspicously. "Come on." Nicole ordered.

"Uh huh." Was Allison's only response as she eyed the both of us.

I watched the siblings bickering as they strolled over to Allison's car. Suddenly I was relieved that I had been an only child. Personally I don't think I could have survived that kind of stress on a day to day basis. Two things were clear. One was that deep down Allison and Nicole adored each other. The other was that Nicole was definitely in my corner. The only question was . . . would Allison listen to her? I was exhausted. Normally I would have waited for Allison's return. But tonight I think that maybe she needed time to think about what Nicole had said. I showered and put on my favorite flannel pajama's and crawled into bed. I was fast asleep before I knew it. My dreams were filled with visions of a certain dark haired beauty.

CHAPTER NINE

September passed slowly, and with autumn approaching the leaves were beginning to turn. Fall in New England; there is simply nothing else like it in the world. You could smell the changing of the season in the air. It would soon be October and I have been working side by side with Allison mostly in silence. Every time she would open up she would quickly retreat further back. I knew that a part of it was that I had yet to break up with Peter. I knew that I needed to end things with him. I also knew that I would need to face him when I did it. I just could not stand the thought of seeing him hurt. So I never drove down to see him as I had promised. I had postponed the inevitable. Now our anniversary was here and he was coming. This was the wrong time to do this. Could I spend the weekend with him just to spare his feelings? God could I be that much of a hypocrite?

Breaking up with Peter was something that I never thought I would ever consider doing. I was not in love with him and worst of all I had never been in love with him. My declaration to Allison was the truth. I am a lesbian. I no longer held any doubts about this. I noticed women everywhere, not just Allison. But Allison was the one who had captured my heart. Not that it mattered since she still made it abundantly clear that she was not interested. Of course, I was also at a loss as to how I was going to tell Peter. "I mean just how does one leave their long time boyfriend because they have come to terms with their latent homosexuality? Face it, Hallmark does not have a card for this one."

Well at least the book was going well. I had since finished reading Haley's journal. Her life was so captivating. Eleanor had served bravely at Gettysburg, and after being wounded the two married. A bold decision but one that did provide Haley with respectability. They saw little of each other during the war but each time was memorable. As I read of their endless devotion and love it would fill me with desire. I often found myself lying awake at night wondering what would happen if I dared to climb up the staircase to Allison's door. Would she be there with open arms or would she simply slam the door in my face?

I sat in my little study in Allison's apartment. I was reviewing notes for our book while Allison was downstairs in the kitchen making coffee. It felt so comfortable to share this tiny space with her even if our conversations over the past month had been brief. It seemed that Allison was determined not to take her sister's advice. She was getting very good at avoiding spending time with me. She was always busy with one thing or another. At first I simply tried to convince myself that Allison had a full life long before I walked through her door, but lately her excuses were getting a little flimsy. You would think that someone with such a fine education would be a little more creative!

I was finished with my work for the evening, yet I was hesitant to leave. I knew that I should return to my own apartment, but still I was unwilling. I decided to reread some of my favorite passages from Haley's journal. I always found the passages from Gettysburg enthralling so I settled in and began with those.

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I sighed deeply as I wondered what Haley's neighbors would have said if the knew the truth? In one brief moment Haley was transformed from fallen woman to the wife of a prominent New Orleans gentleman. I almost wept as I read her words. I prayed for the day that I would promise the woman that I loved that I would grow old with her and would only leave her side when I departed from this earthly plane. I flipped threw the journal until I found another set of passages that I was fond of. These events occurred later in Haley's life.

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It amazed me how much these two women truly loved each other. How dangerous it must have been for them. Every waking moment threatened them with exposure. After the Ku Klux Klan began to make their presence known they decided it was time to leave. Along with their young son and Mrs. Moorehouse they made their way to Boston and then traveled North. Finally they settled in Salem, Massachusetts where they opened a small Inn. There they lived out the rest of their lives. Eleanor was finally free to go outside and into town. They lived happily until the day that Eleanor finally did break her promise to Haley. In the winter of 1899 she died. The war had left many scars on her body and mind. Haley forgave her for leaving her far too soon. Haley lived out her remaining days as she put it "with the memories of the sweetest love anyone could have known. She left me but she will always be with me."

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CHAPTER TEN

October passed in much the same manner as September. I managed to find a great many excuses not to visit Peter. I know that I should have been braver and end things, and I felt very guilty stringing him along that way. At least my classes were going well. Never before had I been able to express myself so well with my students. Allison had been right. I opened my heart and showed them why I loved the subject matter so dearly. History I explained in one of my lectures was part story telling, that the facts often changed to please the public and the other half was a life lesson. Since history truly does repeat itself, all of us need to heed the lessons from the past. Miraculously my enthusiasm invoked their enthusiasm.

The one bright note was that work on our book moved along much faster than I had anticipated. I sent out the rough drafts to my publisher since Allison no longer had one. Pauline Kwan had been my editor from the beginning. She was thrilled with the early drafts and clamored for more. She was disappointed that we had not started work on the manuscript sooner. "It would be perfect for the holiday season." She gushed. She promised that if Allison and I could complete the final draft by the date she had set she could guarantee us a release date in the fall. I promised her that we would try. Allison worked equally as hard on the project as I did. But I longed for a more one on one working relationship with her.

This became increasingly harder to do since Allison began spending most of her weekends in New York. It appeared that the problems at Wainwright & Griggs were not going to be resolved quickly. I was becoming jealous of all of the time she was spending with Chris. I knew that I had no right to be jealous but hell I am human. But my suspicions would disappear each time Allison would return home. The constant traveling and pressure were beginning to weigh heavily on her. She was sullen and moody most of the time. The only time she seemed truly happy was when she was teaching.

Each time she returned home I prayed that it would be her last trip to New York. In my heart I knew that I could not trust Chris. Mrs. Giavanna seemed to agree with me. I also began to resent Chris for taking up so much of Allison's time. Even when she was home, Chris was constantly calling. Allison and I rarely spent time together and when we did it was strictly business. Despite my feelings of jealousy I was more concerned on the toll all of this was having on Allison. I needed to get her to relax and this was no small accomplishment these days. All of this constant traveling and nonstop work was not good for her.

On the 28th of October I found myself working in Allison's apartment. Several times during the evening I tried in vain to get her to laugh but nothing seemed to be working. I finally gave up and focused on our book. As we went over the mundane details of the book I forced myself to maintain a professional atmosphere. We were very close to finishing. Everything was coming down to rechecking dates and information. All I needed to do was read Eleanor's diary. Allison had filled me in on the content as much as she could and her father would often fax or email passages to us. But I needed to see the journal for myself. With all of Allison's traveling she did not have a chance to visit her parents. I would just have to wait until she returned from the Thanksgiving Holiday as we originally planned.

"Where is Eleanor buried?" I asked as I watched her stoke the fire.

"Salem." She responded in her usual business tone. With each passing day she was becoming more and more like the lawyer she had been when I first met her. She stood from her duties at the fireplace. The glow of the fire illuminated her features. I could feel my heart racing. She was so beautiful as she gazed over at me. For the first time in almost two months she looked into my eyes.

I could not take my eyes off of her. She looked at me and I could feel the heat and it was not emanating from the fireplace. There was something in the way that she looked at me. The kindness and the joy I had not seen in her for a very long time seemed to return. Standing before me was the woman that I had first fallen for. The flames let out a loud snap and we were both brought back to reality. She closed her eyes and pinched her nose and she was gone again.

"What was I saying?" She asked as she began rubbing her eyes.

"Eleanor's grave." I prodded her with regret.

"Right." She opened her eyes and looked back up but not at me. "She is buried in Salem. In fact Eleanor, Anna Moorehouse and Haley are all buried in the same little cemetery.

"We should include a picture of their headstones in the book if we can." I stated dryly. "Your family doesn't have one by any chance?"

Suddenly Allison was laughing loudly. "Uh no. Not exactly something you put in the family album." Her face was alive suddenly.

"Maybe I could go down to Salem sometime and get one." I said carefully not wanting to jolt her out of her happy mood.

"We could go now." She suggested enthusiastically.

"Are you serious?" I asked her awkwardly. It had been far too long since Allison had suggested that we do anything together. But a trip to a cemetery?

"Why not?" She pleaded. "It's still early enough. If we hurry we can just make it before it gets dark. Please!"

"You are serious." I asked as I shook my head in disbelief. "But won't the cemetery be closed at this hour?" I wanted to spend time with Allison but it was late and cold and this was a cemetery for pity's sake!

"This little graveyard is locked up constantly." She answered plainly. "Oh so now it is a grave yard? I so do not like where this is going!" Allison just looked at me pouting. "Come on Stephanie what could be more fun than breaking into a grave yard in Salem three nights before Halloween?" I don't know. . . gum surgery? "Please Stephanie if I don't get out of here and doing something fun soon I am going to snap." Allison begged.

"Allison . . ." I could think of a thousand reasons why this idea was completely ludicrous. I had to admit though deep down I wanted to go. I had never done anything like this before. I was always the voice of reason or the wet blanket depending upon your point of view.

"Chicken." She taunted me. Okay so now it is a dare! Well that changes everything!

That was all it took, I grabbed my shoes and stood up off of her sofa. "Come on then!" I ordered meeting her challenge. "Put the fire out and get your keys Kendell." On that note I raced downstairs. As I waited for her I quickly checked my reflection in the side mirror. I looked good and my blue jeans and turtleneck should be fine for the trip. I ran my fingers through my short blonde locks quickly to make myself more presentable. Of course I was overlooking the fact that Allison had seen me all day long.

She met me at the car carrying a long wool coat, her digital camera and a flashlight. "Come on Kendell, daylight is burning." I hollered after her. She laughed at me as she climbed into the car. "You will need a jacket." She chastised me. "I am fine." I argued as I climbed into the passenger seat. Along the drive to Salem I put a CD in. I knew her driving selections very well at this point. I selected an Aretha Franklin CD in hopes that Allison would lose herself as she drove and start to sing along. She did not disappoint me. Allison possessed a beautiful singing voice.

One of the reasons that I had become so familiar with the CD's that Allison kept in her car was because when she would leave for the weekend she would leave me the keys to her precious Subaru. The reason was so that I could run errands for Mrs. Giavanni. But she also made it clear that I could take the car for whatever reason I needed it for. "Just don't let Mrs. Giavanni go to the market by herself!" Some weeks this was the only conversation we exchanged. I was touched by her concern over our elderly landlady and her trust in me. The downside was that since I had access to a car I could have driven down to Rhode Island anytime I wanted to. I reasoned that I wasn't avoiding seeing Peter I was just staying close so I could be there for Mrs. Giavanni.

Salem was a short twenty minute drive away but twilight was approaching quickly. The traffic was insane. I did not think that it was possible but the drivers in downtown Salem were actually worse than those in Boston. The quaint streets, which twisted and turned for no apparent reason were jammed pack with people. "Tourist season." Allison scoffed.

Allison drove like a woman on a mission. I thought I would like to come back someday and see some of the sights that were whizzing past us. She turned the car onto upper Essex Street and found a parking space in front of a white colonial style house. A sign at front informed me that it was the Ropes Mansion. "We are lucky." Allison beamed. "Parking around here can actually be worse than downtown Boston. Especially this time of year." As she locked up the car Allison informed me that the Ropes Mansion like many homes in Salem was rumored to be haunted. "Was she purposely trying to scare me?"

I chose to ignore her comments and endless ghost stories as we made our way down the cobble stone sidewalk. "This entire area was known as Flint's pasture." Allison explained as she pointed to the end of the street. "So what happened there? A mass murder?" I wondered as we continued our journey. "That big red house at the end was built in 1706. During the 1800's it was part of the Underground Railroad. In the 1930's it was a tea room and then at one point an inn."

"And now?" I asked with enthusiasm grateful that there was no creepy tale connected to the story.

"Apartments. Filled mostly with college students." Allison answered sadly.

"Is it haunted as well?" I teased.

"Of course." Allison answered seriously. I was suddenly regretting that I had asked. "This is Salem, Stephanie. If you don't have some kind of specter running loose in your abode the neighbors will talk."

I ignored her attempts to frighten me as we made our way up the street. "Here we are." Allison announced gleefully as we approached a large wrought iron gate. I looked at the padlock securely in place and grimaced. I looked through the bars at the tiny graveyard with its small headstones. The sight was strangely out of place on this residential street. Someone had kept up the lawn but it was painfully apparent that teenagers liked to hang out there as well. As I contemplated just how we were going to make our way into the graveyard I shivered from the cold.

Without a word Allison removed the long wool coat she was wearing. I looked at her questioning this action. She just shrugged her shoulders as she draped the camera around her neck and tucked the flashlight into the back pocket of her black jeans. "Would you like to go first?" She asked as she looked around. I adjusted the taller woman's coat so I wouldn't look like one of the seven dwarfs. "How?" I questioned her. My question was answered as she cupped her hands together and offered me a boost. "You are not serious?" I gasped thinking my companion had finally lost her mind.

"Come on." She urged me. "Hurry before someone sees us."

I do not know what came over me as I wrapped Allison's coat around me and stepped into her waiting hands. I grabbed the gate as I felt her body lift me up. As I climbed up the gate I stopped only for a moment when I reached the top. I checked to make certain that I would not catch the large coat on anything. Then I jumped down with a thud wavering slightly upon my landing. I looked around the graveyard as a chill ran threw my body. This time it was not from the cold. Night was falling and this was not where I wanted to be. Allison made her way over the gate with ease. "You have done this before." I commented. She simply gave me that who me?, expression. She smiled as she pulled the coat tighter around my body. Then she headed off to the far left hand corner of the graveyard. This section of the graveyard was shaded by two large elm trees. Beneath the tree stood three gravestones side by side. Anna Moorehouse died 1872. Sarah Moorehouse died 1899. Haley Ballister beloved wife and mother born January 18, 1844 - died October 28, 1929.

"I am going to do these in black and white." Allison said as began to take the pictures. "I think gravestones look better in black and white."

"Haley died today." I said as a shiver ran threw my body.

"I think I got some good shots here. But we can check them on the computer when we get home." Allison answered as if she had not heard me. Then suddenly her eyes flew open as my words hit her. "What did you say?"

"October 28th." I explained. "She died today."

As the words escaped my mouth a branch above us snapped and fell to the ground in front of us. I jumped into Allison's arms and she pulled me closer to her. Allison pulled the flashlight out of her pocket and looked around. "It got dark very fast." I said with a shiver.

"Well you know . . . Fall in New England." Allison said in a frightened tone. "Maybe we should go?"

"I think you are right." I answered quickly pulling myself away from the comfort of her body. As we turned I grabbed Allison's arm. "Jesus don't do that!" She snapped as she jumped slightly. "I'm sorry." She offered as she placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Allison do you think that maybe Haley doesn't want us to write this book?" I questioned pointing to the fallen tree branch.

"Well I am not waiting around to find out." Allison asserted. "This is getting a little too creepy."

"We should." I said firmly. "We are about to reveal the most intimate details of these women's lives. Maybe just maybe they don't want us to that."

"Okay." Allison said slowly. "Go ahead."

"What?"

"Go ahead and ask them." Allison pushed.

"Me?"

"It was your idea." Allison insisted.

I paused for a moment wondering if Allison had thought that I had lost my mind. But she reassured me with a smile and an encouraging nod of her head. I knelt before Haley and Eleanor's graves. "Ladies is it all right with you that we do this?" I asked quietly. Allison and I listened to the eerie quiet. Nothing happened. "Well they didn't say no." I chuckled as I stood and rejoined Allison. "Now let's get the hell out of here." I added fearfully.

"Okay but I just want to move that branch off of their graves." She explained as she handed me the flashlight. She pulled the heavy branch up easily and tossed it away. "What the?" She uttered in surprise. "Stephanie could you shine that light down here?"

"What is it?" I stammered as I shined the light to where she directed me.

Allison was pushing away at the soil between the headstones. "Look." Was all she said as she pointed to the ground. "The branch must have dug it up."

I looked down at the spot filled with both curiosity and fear. Then I saw it. A small rectangular stone engraved with two cherubs embracing and the word, "FOREVER" inscribed upon it. "Thank you." Allison whispered quietly as she replaced the soil. We both knew that the marker was never meant to be seen. We both quietly accepted it as an encouraging sign as we made our departure. I climbed back over the gate first and was greeted by a very unhappy looking police officer. Allison failed to see him until she was landing onto the cobblestone sidewalk. "Ooops." Was all she offered in her defense.

"Ladies." The officer said sternly as he shined his flashlight in our eyes. "Do you mind telling me what you are doing here?"

"We can explain officer." I stammered out.

"I see." He said indigently.

"It is really quite simple officer." Allison offered as she placed her hands gently on my shoulders.

"Allison?" He said with surprise.

She looked down at me in confusion and shrugged her shoulders. Then she peered more closely at him. Which was easier to do since he immediately extinguished his flashlight. Her eyes flew open and captured him in a big hug. "Roger!" She shouted happily. As they exchanged pleasantries I got the full story. Roger it would appear had once dated Allison's sister. He asked how Nicole was doing and seemed relieved that she was on the wagon.

"So do you want to try and explain what it is your doing breaking into a graveyard?" Roger laughed.

"Research for a book we are working on. I have a couple of relatives buried back there. It was a last minute decision and I did not have time to get the key from the caretakers." Allison explained.

"There is a key?" I whispered to her. She just shrugged her shoulders.

"Same old Allison." Roger chuckled.

After Roger made his departure we both exploded into laughter. Without thinking we fell into each other's arms and giggled uncontrollably. Suddenly I became acutely aware of the closeness of Allison's body. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to run my hands up under the thick white fisherman's sweater she was wearing. The laughter had ceased as we stood there holding each other. I could feel her breathing becoming labored. My body was awakened by the scent of her perfume. The sweet aroma of Opium that I had become all too aware of over the past few months. It was starting to become a problem for me. It had reached the point that if I smelled the perfume on anyone else I became aroused. One Saturday I had taken Mrs. Giavanni out shopping and I was sent running from Filene's department store after passing the Yves Saint Laurent counter. "Try explaining that one to your sweet elderly Italian landlady!"

I could feel Allison's body begin to shiver from my embrace. Suddenly all of Allison's words and actions came flooding back to me. I felt that we were far too close at that moment. This time I was the one who broke away. In many ways Allison had been right about us and yet she was wrong as well. There was something about me that frightens Allison. I knew because of her past if we became intimate at this moment we would never have a future together. And it was at that moment that my head and heart finally connected. I wanted this woman for something more than the physical contact my body craved. If I were to hold this woman as a lover, I wanted her to be there the next morning; and the morning after that.

Allison's face reflected her surprise as I pulled away. Then she released a heavy sigh and smiled at me. My movement had been slow and natural. Her arm remained around my waist as we walked back to the car. This simple stroll was probably the most romantic of my life. "Hungry?" Allison smiled as she started the car.

"Yeah." I smiled in return. "Since this is your neck of the woods why don't you pick the place."

"No problem." Allison agreed. We drove back over to Derby Street and managed to find a parking space. I looked at over the ocean and inhaled the aroma of the autumn air. A beautiful fall evening with a lovely woman at my side, who could ask for anything more? Allison had decided upon Rockmore Dry Dock for dinner. The food was good but there was an added attraction as the restaurant granted a stunning view of the harbor. For just one evening all pretense between us had vanished. There was something about the romantic atmosphere that made me feel like I was on a date with Allison.

We drove home that evening singing along with the local oldies station. There was a sense of ease to our interaction that had been lacking for far too long. I knew that I had made the right decision when I backed away from Allison earlier. If I had kissed her at that moment, I am not certain that either of us would have possessed the strength to stop. And if Allison crossed the line she had vowed to maintain I probably would have lost her.

*************************************************************

The following morning I was awakened to the sounds of Allison's morning concert. I missed this on the weekends she was away. Today's musical accompaniment was provided by Aretha Franklin. I noted as I climbed out of bed it was the same CD we had listen to on the drive to Salem. I took this as a positive sign as I started to brew my coffee. I found myself singing along in the shower. I was feeling rather pleased with myself for my control last evening. "It finally looks as if Allison is starting to trust me." My joy was short lived as I heard the music stop while I was drying myself. The silence was followed by the sounds of Allison's footsteps descending the staircase and making their way out the front door. At that moment I mentally kicked myself for playing hands off last evening. It would appear that no matter what I did Allison was determined to fight me.

I spent the rest of my day teaching classes and trying to track down Allison. She never seemed to be around. After finishing her classes she went directly home. I never laid eyes on the woman the entire day. I felt as if I were losing my mind. Had I done something last night to bring this on? I thought back and could find nothing in my actions to evoke the new cold front I was now facing. There was no revelation to be found. I had simply relaxed and enjoyed myself. There was no overt touching, no strained moments, and certainly no flirting. At the end of the evening, Allison had invited me up for coffee. To which I politely declined not wanting to push my luck or my hormones. I had given Allison exactly what she had asked for simple friendship. "I can not win with you Allison! Perhaps Nicole is right and what you really need is to have that stick surgically removed?"

If Allison wanted space then fine I would give it to her. I stayed at the University late and worked at the library. It was after nine o'clock when I finally made my way home. Allison's car was missing. I tried to busy myself with work on the book, but I quickly found it difficult to concentrate. I tried to watch television but nothing held my interest. Finally I gave up and went to bed. Despite all of my efforts I simply laid awake and stared at the ceiling wondering where Allison was?

It was well after three in the morning when I heard the front door close. I knew by the sound of the footsteps that it was Allison. I would know her gait anywhere. I even knew that she was wearing her old worn out pair of Zodiac boots. Normally if I heard her coming in I would greet her and invite her in for coffee. Something that I knew that she could never refuse. But at this late hour I knew how truly pathetic it would appear. "Maybe I could just pop into the hallway pretending that she woke me up?" I instantly scolded myself at the suggestion. It was then that I noticed that Allison's footsteps had paused. She was still in the entryway just outside of my door. I jumped off of the futon and made my way over to the doorway. Before I could reach the handle I could hear her moving away and walking up the staircase to her apartment. I listened as she paced around in her apartment. Finally a familiar pattern emerged as she went over to the kitchen, then to the bathroom and finally to her bedroom. The sounds ceased and I knew that she was in bed for the evening. Only one of us slept that night.

By the time Allison's morning concert began, (today it was Mozart) I had already watched the sunrise. Then I brewed a pot of coffee and showered and dressed quickly. Before the concert ended I was half way to the campus. There I was sitting alone in our office chewing on the end of a pencil. Everything seemed to be coming to a head. Peter would be arriving today. Allison would leave for New York this afternoon. For the first time Allison's trips out of town was a blessing. I knew that I would be breaking up with Peter tonight.

I had just about chewed my pencil in half as I contemplated just how things might go with Peter. "Face it. This is going to suck!" I had already been making trips into Boston on my own after I had discovered the local gay bookstores. Once a woman had even approached me and began flirting. I found her attractive enough but still I politely declined. I was beginning a new life and yet I was still somehow trapped in my old existence. I recalled how strained Peter's voice sounded the last time I spoke with him. He had been forced to cancel on the weekend of our anniversary. He had been thrown into a major project at the last moment. Secretly I had been relieved. But I could hear the disappointment in his voice when I refused to come down and see him. I explained that he had work to do and we could see each other soon. I knew that he wasn't by any means an idiot. After all of this time he must suspect something. How could he not? After six years I had not made the slightest effort to see him in over two months.

When he called to make plans for this weekend he offered to take the day off and drive down last night. I had a difficult time of it but I finally convinced him not to do that. I wanted him to arrive after Allison's departure. I had no intention of the two of them meeting each other. Somehow I doubted that I could survive the awkwardness of such a meeting. It was going to be difficult enough just facing him. I had to be strong and sit him down the moment he arrived and finally tell him everything. I wondered briefly if he would understand that this was just as painful for me as it would be for him. I was about to break the heart of my best friend. If only we had remained just that? Life would have been so different.

My mantra for the rest of the day was simple, "You need to strong. You need to do this. This is the only fair thing to do. Tell Peter!" Now all I had to do was actually see this through.

Near the end of the day Allison returned. She muttered "hello" before retreating to her side of the office. Not long after that Maureen popped her head into the office. "Anyone willing to baby sit tomorrow night?" She pleaded. "Mine just canceled. If I do not get a chance to go out with my husband I will go postal."

"Sorry." Allison answered her pleas.

"Not New York again!" Maureen groaned. "What about tonight?"

"Calm down." Allison responded in a reassuring tone. "There is no way I am spending Halloween in New York. Tonight will be the same as every year." As for tomorrow night I am going to the Galaxy."

"Skip the Galaxy." Maureen begged. "You can go there anytime. Come on do an old married woman a favor and watch my kids."

"Watching your kids on a sugar high on Halloween night . . . a tempting offer but I have a date." Allison offered in her own defense.

"Are you kidding?" Maureen asked in amazement as she looked at me. I think she could tell by my suddenly pale features that I was just as surprised as she was.

"I do date." Allison resounded sharply.

"Since when?" Maureen asked again looking towards me for some sort of answer. I had none to offer. "Stephanie any chance you would be available?" She asked hopefully.

"I am sorry Maureen. But I have plans as well." I answered bitterly.

"Well damn. Then I guess I will see you both tonight then." Maureen said with disappointment.

Maureen left in a bit of a huff chasing after her next victim Grace. "Allison has a date! This is terrible!" I tried to calm myself reminding myself that I had no say over Allison's personal life. Allison had repeatedly let me know that she was not an option. Deep down I knew that I could not really accept that. Suddenly it was all far too real. Even after tonight when I broke up with Peter I would still be a co-worker. This was still taboo for the all mighty Miss. Kendell. The Galaxy. I had heard of that place. It was a nightclub in Cambridge. It prides itself on catering to a diverse community. In addition to the gay clientele I had heard that they offered a fetish night as well. So Allison was going out dancing with another woman. If I was not mistaken from what I remember reading in the copy of IN News weekly that I had scanned one day at Glad Day Books, last night being Thursday would have been the gay night at The Galaxy. I may be a history professor but even I could do the math on that. Last night Allison went out and met someone and has a date with them tomorrow. "I knew I had taken a huge risk in waiting so long, but one day?"

I wonder what going on tonight? All day long I was not the only one searching for Allison. It seemed that everyone was looking for her. When I explained that she was out they smiled and replied with something about her getting ready for tonight and that they would see me tonight. "What the Hell is going on?" I hadn't really focused on it since I had been wrapped with my concerns regarding Allison. But now even Maureen seemed to expect seeing me tonight. "Allison?" I called out to her through the partition. "What is going on tonight?"

"It is nothing really." Allison answered quickly. "Just a little gathering. It happens every year on the night before Halloween."

"I see." I answered slowly. "Just a little gathering that the entire campus seemed to be talking about. The same little gathering that she never once mentioned to me!" At that moment Stan of all people popped his head into the office. "Allison?" He called to her in a surprisingly friendly manner. I was also surprised that he called her by her first name. Whenever Stan addressed her which was rarely he always called her Kendell. "Should I bring The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow?"

"Of course Stan. The little ones love it." Allison replied warmly.

"Great!" He gushed. "The boys are really looking forward to coming."

"Don't forget your pumpkins." Allison reminded him.

"Just one this year. I'm afraid that Richard feels that he is far too old for that." Stan added sadly. "He is afraid. I was terrified! These two were talking like long lost friends. Normally if both were in the same building it was a good idea to lock up all sharp objects!"

"Well you know that some of the students like to do some tie dying in the upstairs’ kitchen. Perhaps he will enjoy that?" Allison added warmly.

"He might if he can do it in black. It is the only color his Mother and I can get him to wear these days." Stan chuckled. "I will pick up some T-shirts on the way. Thank you for the suggestion Allison. I will see you both tonight." Stan waved and left. "Had I just entered the twilight zone? Or maybe the pod people had finally taken over?"

"Stan is coming?" I blurted out not intending to voice my thoughts. Just then a young student whom I recognized popped her head into the office. "Same time this year Professor Kendell?" She asked brightly.

"Yes." Allison answered uneasily. "Carla could you close the door on your way out?" The young African American woman smiled brightly and closed the door. As the door was closing Allison quickly approached my desk. "Stephanie." She began cautiously. "I never invite anyone over for this."

"I see." I said bitterly.

"It's the truth!" Allison responded with exasperation. "The first year I was teaching here, I told this outrageous ghost story in class. It is just something I like to do. Like the way I teased you in Salem. Well when class was over everyone wanted to hear more and tell some of their own spooky tales. I forget how it happened but everyone ended up at my apartment for an impromptu party. We decorated the porch and Mrs. Giavanni's porch. We carved pumpkins and someone brought a horror movie. The whole thing just snowballed. Now every year on the night before Halloween people just show up."

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I pushed. "This is a small campus Allison. Everyone knows where I live. I feel like an idiot, just when were you going to mention this? When a hundred some odd people showed up on our doorstep? You could have said something when we went to Salem!" I was beyond anger.

"I'm sorry." Allison said defensively. "It . . . it’s just that . . ." Allison was stammering like an idiot. I was secretly pleased to see the shoe finally on the other foot.

"I know what it is Allison!" I said bitterly. "It is you and your stupid rules! If you and I have a good time together for more than five minutes you assume that I am going to jump your bones! You should be so lucky you arrogant . . ."

"Stephanie don't!" She warned me harshly.

I was far too angry to listen to her warning. "Don't what?" I growled at her. "Don't call your bluff?" And there it was. I had called her on the carpet. We just stood there in silence. My blood was boiling even though I could see by the pained expression on her face that I had hurt her. I had not meant to hurt her. But I could not stand all of the games and the rules and the jumping threw hoops that she made me endure on a daily basis. I watched as those beautiful blue eyes started to close. "Don't you dare shut me out again!" I shouted at her as I flew out from behind my desk and stood toe to toe with her. I had not intended to yell but I just could not stand her shutting down again.

Her eyes flew open at my assault and glared at me. "Fine. Come then." She spat out coldly. Turning from me she stomped to her side of the office and gathered her things. Then she stormed over to the door and opened it. Just as she was about to leave she turned back to me and gave me a deadly glare. "Oh and Stephanie don't forget to bring your boyfriend." Her words sent a chill through me. At that moment I lost all sense of reality. My body shuddered and without even realizing it I snatched up the glass paperweight that was sitting on top of my desk and hurled it at her. Allison ducked as it shattered against the wall.

"Jesus Christ!" Allison shouted at me. I just stood there paralyzed by my actions. Never in my life had I ever lost control like that. "It is all right. I just dropped something." Allison explained to someone in the hallway and then she closed the door. I just stood there staring blankly at the shattered remains. "Don't you ever do that again." Allison scolded me. "Stephanie?" She called to me and I could hear the alarm in her voice. I was still unable to move. "Stephanie?" She repeated.

Suddenly my breathing became erratic and the panic washed over me. "I never . . . " I trembled as the tears began to flow. I was sobbing uncontrollably as I felt my knees begin to buckle. I was falling as I felt her arms wrap around me. She held me tightly. "Hold on." She whispered gently. I was in a daze as she led me over to the couch. Allison rubbed my back soothingly. "I'm just going to clean up the mess. Okay?" I nodded numbly. Before I realized it Allison had returned to my side. Without thinking I wrapped myself in her arms and wept. She held me as I cried rubbing my back and whispering soft words.

I'd lost track of time as she held me. Finally my tears stopped. But Allison continued to hold me. "It is getting late we should go." She said finally. I had no idea of how long we had been sitting there. I had never done anything like this before and it frightened me. Allison stood slowly and gathered our things. Then she held out her hand to me and helped me stand. Without a word she placed a comforting arm around my shoulders and led me to her car. We drove home in silence.

Upon arriving home I saw that our front porch as well as Mrs. Giavanni's front porch was covered with people. There were pumpkins everywhere. Not to mention various ghosts, skeletons and a few Frankenstein’s to boot. The crowd consisted of students, faculty and many people I had never seen before. There was one tall figure with dark puppy dog eyes that stood out. He was busy helping string orange lights across the porch and laughing without a care in the world. "Is that him?" Allison asked quietly.

"Yes. It's Peter." I responded painfully.

"It's going to be all right." Allison said gently as she wiped an errant tear from my cheek.

"Liar." I whispered. I inhaled deeply and braced myself as Allison gently caressed my thigh.

After taking several more deep breaths I steadied myself enough to exit the car. Peter ran over to me with a huge grin plastered upon his face. Allison walked past him without a second glance. Peter threw his arms around me and held me tightly. When he pulled back the smile left his face instantly. "Are you all right?" He asked.

"Fine." I lied. "Just a bad day."

"You can tell me all about it later." He squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. Before I could react he bent down and claimed my lips passionately. I stiffened as his tongue tried to enter my mouth. "Not now." I murmured as I pulled away.

"It's good to see you sweetheart." He smiled hopefully.

I had felt nothing when he had kissed me. It was all true I had never felt any passion for this man. I looked up into those trusting brown eyes and quickly turned away. I was unable to face him due to the overwhelming guilt that engulfed me. As my eyes turned from him I found Allison staring at us. Her face was possessed an icy expression. Her eyes held mine briefly before turning away. "Okay everyone!" She said without missing a beat. "Now everyone knows the rules right?"

"Yes." The crowd responded quickly.

"Okay then what are they?" Allison questioned them like a drill sergeant.

"There is hard cider and alcohol free cider." A few voices volunteered.

"And who can drink the hard cider?" Allison drilled them.

"Anyone over twenty one." The crowd answered.
"Excellent." Allison smiled. "Now who is on key duty?"

"I am." A voice answered.

"Good for you Walter." Allison patted the boy on the shoulder. "Just remember no drinking and you must take everyone's car keys as they enter the party and they can't have them back if they are unable to drive. So what's the movie tonight?"

"The Blair Witch Project." Several voices answered.

"Good choice." Allison answered as she smiled once again. "Just remember . . ."

"No one under seventeen in the living room while the movie is playing." Someone answered.

"Okay!" Allison clapped her hands together. "The houses look great. I think this is the best decorating job yet. Now let's get this crap upstairs and start this party."

The crowd began to gather their belongings and made their way into the house. Someone called after Peter. He just waved to them as he continued to smile at me. "This is so much fun." He exclaimed. "Your neighbor certainly knows how to have fun."

"You have no idea." I said absently.

"Let's go then." He beamed.

"Peter we have to . . ." I stammered.

"Come on Peter." One coed called after him.

"I have to change." I said quickly.

"I could help you." He said playfully.

"No." I shot out quickly. "I mean you go on ahead. Go join the party. I'll see you upstairs."

He quickly kissed me again and ran off to join the others. I made a mad dash into my apartment and slammed the door behind me. Mentally kicking myself was the first thing I did. "If only I had felt something when he kissed me! Why didn't I just tell him everything right then and there? I panicked that's why. Now it is too late. It is obvious that this party is going to go on all night. I could wait until tomorrow and tell him first thing in the morning. What about tonight? After all of this time I'm certain that Peter will expect us to sleep together. I'll tell him when we leave the party. I just need to find an excuse to get him to leave. Now hurry up there and stop him from meeting Allison."

As the last thought hit me I raced around grabbing a pair of worn blue jeans and a Yale sweatshirt and changed in record time. There was no way I was going to leave Peter with Allison. I raced upstairs and was greeted by Walter. He immediately asked for my car keys and then quickly apologized when he realized who I was. "I'm sorry Dr. Grant." He blushed. "I guess you won't be driving tonight."

I just smiled and walked past him. The apartment was filled with people on both floors and more were entering as I began to search for Peter. I needed to pull him aside and get him downstairs. The thought of him and Allison talking suddenly bolstered my courage. I had to get him out of there and fast. I spotted his lanky frame sipping a bottle of cider. He seemed to be in a deep conversation with someone. I pushed my way through the crowd. My heart stopped when I saw just who it was Peter was talking to. Allison! She was just nodding and smiling. She looked over his shoulder and captured my gaze. She smiled sweetly enough but her eyes seemed to be pleading for help.

I made my way over to him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He turned to me and smiled. "Hey honey I was just talking to . . ."

"Allison." She informed him quickly.

"Peter we need to . . ." I began firmly.

"This is just great isn't it?" He beamed.

"Yeah right." Allison groaned and then quickly bit her lip and grimaced.

"I know that being alone would have been nice." Peter continued oblivious to what was happening. "But I have been locked in my office for months. This party is just what I needed." He gave me a quick peck on the lips and then took another swig of his cider. "Thank you darling this is a great surprise. Plus we have the rest of the weekend for just the two of us." He winked at me playfully.

"Peter we need to . . ." I began once again.

"Hey the movie is about to start!" He informed us as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Come on. I'll hold your hand during the scary parts." He winked again.

"Great." I groaned.

As Peter grabbed himself another cider from someone passing by he began to lead me over to the sofa. I felt a gentle tug on my arm. I turned to find Allison grinning at my like a Cheshire cat. "Drink?" She asked in a strained voice.

"Yes thank you." I answered in relief. I pulled away from Peter and took Allison's waiting hand. "Excuse us Peter. I'll be right back."

"Ah okay." He responded in confusion.

Allison pulled me into the kitchen. I released her hand when we encountered yet another crowd of people waiting for us. "Where are they?" Allison grumbled as she searched her kitchen cabinets frantically. I made my way past the bottles of cider sitting in ice in the kitchen sink and went directly to Allison's wine cabinet. In a brief moment I realized that I knew Allison's kitchen better than I knew my own. I selected a Cabernet that I knew she liked. I immediately grabbed the corkscrew from a draw and then retrieved two wine glasses. "Did you find them?" I asked impatiently.

"Bingo!" She squealed as she held up a fresh pack of cigarettes. I reached back into the draw where I found the corkscrew and snatched up a book of matches and tossed them to Allison.

I peeked out through the kitchen door and spotted Peter chatting away with a group of people. He seemed so happy as the movie started. "He's having a great time. " I said sadly as I turned back to Allison. She frowned as she looked back at me.

"Now what?" She asked as looked at the people surrounding us. I stepped over to her and gently placed a hand on her hip. I leaned up and whispered, "My place."

Without hesitation we pushed our way through the crowd and ducked outside to the back staircase located off of the kitchen. We crept downstairs to my apartment pausing once or twice to listen to the sounds of the party emanating from her apartment. I reached into my pocket and retrieved my keys and opened the back door. We stumbled threw the darkness and made our way over to the futon which I had left open this morning. I placed the wine and the other items I was carrying down carefully on the coffee table. "Can I have the matches for a moment? I don't want to turn on the lights." I explained. She handed me the matches and I lit the large three wicked candle I kept on the coffee table and returned the matches to her.

Allison lit herself a cigarette. "Light one for me." I said as I opened the bottle of wine. Allison handed me the cigarette she was smoking and lit another for herself. I took a deep drag and went in search for something I could use as an ashtray. I settled on a small plate, which I placed on the table. I placed the spent matches in the plate as Allison poured the wine and handed me a glass. "You'll have to excuse the mess." I apologized as I settled down next to her. "I had been planning on cleaning up for Peter's visit. Then I thought that he wouldn't be staying so why bother."

"No chance of that now." Allison groaned. "He's having a grand old time."

"I know." I sighed in desperation.

"How weird is this?"

"Oh this?" I laughed. "Let's see my boyfriend of the past six years who I've been avoiding for the past couple of months is upstairs in your apartment. While I'm hiding down here with the woman I made a pass at."

"So, nothing out of the ordinary?" Allison teased.

"No not at all." I laughed. "Considering a few hours ago I was throwing things at you."

"Are you as sick of rehashing the boundaries of our friendship as I am?" Allison asked seriously.

"No. I was yelling and throwing things at you because I think that everything is just peachy between us."

"Stephanie." Allison began slowly. "I want to make something clear." I simply groaned at her comment.

"Stop." I said finally as I took another drag off of my smoke.

"Wait." She said as she extinguished her cigarette. "I just want you to know . . . well . . . I . . ."

"What?" I snapped impatiently waiting for yet another lecture on how we could never be more than friends.

"Stephanie. It's just that you seem to be under the impression that I am not attracted to you." Allison blurted out. "If that was the case trust me the last few months would've been a hell of a lot easier on the both of us."

"So you're attracted to me?"

"Jesus, Stephanie." Allison rolled her eyes. "Haven't you ever looked in a mirror?"

As I looked at her in the candlelight her face glowed. I'd never wanted anyone more than I wanted her. As her deep blue eyes captured mine I could see that her passion mirrored my own. I broke away from her gaze and put out my cigarette. "I know that I've been putting off breaking up with Peter." I tried to explain my reluctance. "It's just that there was our anniversary and now his birthday is coming up."

"There is never going to be a good time to break his heart." Allison said softly as she gently rubbed my arm. "No matter what you say or when you say it he's going to be hurt."

"I know." I admitted as I leaned into her touch. "I just wish there was someway I could avoid hurting him."

"Then stay with him." Allison said bluntly.

"I can't." I sighed as I curled up against her. "Now that I know what I want. I have to let him go. It's the right thing to do."

We sat there silently sipping our wine each lost in our own thoughts. I placed my glass on the table and leaned back into Allison's body. My hand absently tracing a pattern across her white cotton blouse. I could feel the taunt muscles of her abdomen through the material. She kissed me gently on the top of my head. Then she sat up and placed her glass on the table next to mine. For a brief moment I thought she was going to leave. Instead she leaned into me and caressed my face gently. It was all the encouragement I needed. I slipped my hand over her broad shoulders and tenderly ran them down the front of her blouse. I gasped as I felt her nipples harden from my touch.

My heart was racing as she lowered her head and captured my lips. I kissed her gently in reply. She leaned away slightly. I reached up and laced my fingers in her raven hair and pulled her towards me. Her lips were so soft and inviting. I felt as if I could lose myself within her or die trying. I felt her tongue teasing my bottom lip. Eagerly I opened my lips and invited her in. The sensation of her explorations was overwhelming. I lost all sense of reason. I simply wanted more. I pressed my body into hers as my fingers began exploring the front of her blouse. I unbuttoned her shirt as I felt her powerful hands pressing against my back drawing me closer to her. With the last of the buttons freed my hands took control feeling the taut skin of her abdomen.

Our lips parted as the need to breath over took us. I began to kiss her cheek and then my tongue trailed down her neck. She moaned as I began to suck on her neck feeling her heat beneath my lips. I felt her hands beneath my sweatshirt. I was trembling as her hands freely explored my body. I needed her more than I needed to breath. I pushed her down so that she was now lying beneath me. I straddled her hips and began a slow and steady rhythm as I grinded myself into her. I cupped her breast molding it into my hand. I lift my head and began to nibble on her earlobe. I heard her gasp as my tongue found it's way into her ear. "Is this what you want?" I growled in a voice that I did not recognize. "Yes!" She moaned deeply as she clutched my backside and pressed our hips together.

The steady rhythm of our bodies crashing together was driving me over the edge. Unable to contain my desire I reached down and lowered the silk of her bra, exposing the breast that I had been caressing. The sight of that beautiful mound shimmering in the candle light with her rose colored nipple erect forced me to ride harder against her. My body was throbbing. I bent my head down and allowed my tongue to circle her nipple. Her body arched in response as she pushed herself closer to me. Fueled on by her response I captured her nipple in my mouth and began to suckle it greedily. I was lost in her. The taste of her skin, the feel of her hands exploring my body was driving me insane.

My pulse was racing as pressed my center against hers. My body was reacting of it's own will. I tore my mouth from her breast. She groaned in disappointment. I raised my body from hers while still straddling her hips. I could not contain my desire any longer as my hands franticly began to unbutton her jeans. I could feel her hands working the zipper of my jeans as I began to tug hers off of her hips. She mirrored my actions. I lowered my wetness to hers and I held her passionate gaze. I pressed the length of my body against hers as she opened herself wider and invited me in. "So wet." She whispered hotly in my ear.

"Allison." My voice trembled as our clits rocked together. "Yeess." She hissed as her hands firmly clutched my bottom driving further into her. "Take me." I pleaded. She responded by flipping me over and capturing my mouth in a searing kiss. I felt her thigh slide between my legs. I eagerly accepted her offer and began to thrust against her firm thigh. I didn't hear it at first. Perhaps I had assumed it was the beating of my heart. More likely I was far too wrapped in making love to this beautiful woman. But the pounding grew more insistent. I felt Allison's body tense as her movements halted. I looked up at the stricken look on her face and willed my own body to cease its movements. That is when I realized what had caused her to stop.

Someone was knocking on the door. "Stephanie?" He called out. "Peter." I whispered in shock as Allison and I remained frozen. We remained frozen for what seemed like an eternity until we heard his footsteps walking away. I raised my hand to my mouth to stifle the sob that threatens to escape. Allison pulled away from me and lay beside me as I tried to calm myself. I could feel her body rise up off the futon as she began to fix her clothing. "Come on." She whispered gently as she bent down and caressed my cheek. "You don't want him to find out this way."

"I'm sorry." I sobbed quietly as I pulled my jeans back up.

"I'm not."

"Liar." I sniffed as I accepted her hand and she assisted me up off of the futon.

"You're right." Allison sighed. "Let's just go back upstairs. He will never know." She insisted as she began to gather up the wine glasses and cigarettes. She walked over to the back door and turned to me. "You should fix your bra before you go back up." Having said that she departed my apartment. I felt my sweatshirt and blushed when I realized that she had somehow managed to undo my bra without my knowledge. Quickly I rehooked the garment and tidied up the apartment and made my up back up to Allison's apartment.

Upon reentering Allison's apartment I was greeted by a very drunken Peter. Allison was nowhere to be seen. "There you are." Peter slurred. "I needed some fresh air." I lied as I gave him a worried glance. "Peter did you eat today?" I questioned him in a motherly fashion. He just shook his no. "I think that maybe we should put you to bed." I said tenderly.

"I've been waiting two months to hear you say that." He smirked as he slumped his arm around my shoulders. I wanted to cry as I led him threw the crowd and out the front door. As I went to close the door behind us I caught a glimpse of Allison among the crowd. My heart broke as I caught the darken expression on her face.

Somehow I managed to get Peter downstairs. No easy task since his hands began to wander. Taking his suit off prove to be no problem since he was more than eager to undress for me. Getting him to go to bed became a test of wills. He kept trying to grab me for a kiss. It was a struggle but finally I got him tucked into the futon where he quickly passed out. I had never seen him so drunk before. It broke my heart when he was trying to kiss me. "I love you so much Stephanie." He kept repeating. As he snored in his drunken slumber I sat on the edge of the futon and finally released the tears that I'd been fighting since I heard him knocking on the apartment door.

I ended spending the night in the beat up armchair in the corner of the apartment. I cried until my body had nothing left to offer. Peter did not move an inch all night long. I could have easily crawled into bed with him and tried to sleep as well, but I felt that I had betrayed him enough for one evening. As the sun began to emerge I lifted myself out of the armchair. My body ached from sitting there all night. I dragged myself into the shower and tried to loose myself under the steam.

After I had showered and dressed I waited and waited for Peter to wake up. The waiting was driving me insane. Finally I gave up and brewed a pot of coffee as I debated on sneaking back upstairs to see if Allison was awake yet. As the coffee was just finishing to spit out the last few drops of caffeine, I heard Allison moving around upstairs. Since Peter showed no signs of life I decided to wait until Allison finished her shower and was dressed. I needed to see her. To be with her. I needed to explain just what last night had meant to me. What she means to me. It was time to tell her everything. "I'm in love with her. Last night wasn't just physical. Although the physical was pretty damn nice!"

Right on cue I was jolted out of my thoughts by the blaring sound of Allison's morning concert. "Melissa. Not a good sign. She is playing the same CD as the last time something like this happened."

"What the hell is that?" Peter bellowed as he pulled the bed covers over his head.

"Allison." I answered simply.

"Does she do that every morning?" He groaned.

"Yes."

"God how do you put up with it?" He groaned again finally peeking out from under the covers. I just shrugged in response. "Is that coffee I smell?"

"Yes." I answered quickly as I pour us each a cup. I began to search for some sugar for his coffee. I gasped as I realized that I hadn't bothered to buy any for him. "I'm sorry Peter. I seem to be out of sugar." I apologized.

"That's okay." He smiled as he sat up slightly and scratched his head. He wrapped the blanket around himself and stumbled into the kitchen. "Man I feel like someone scotch taped my tongue." He bent down and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before taking the cup I offered to him. "When did you start drinking your coffee black?" He asked innocently.

I just shrugged once again not trusting myself to speak. I was no fool I knew he knew that I hadn't bothered to buy sugar for his coffee. It was such a small thing. But it spoke volumes. "Peter we have to . . ." I began to say.

"Stephanie." He cut me off. "I'm so sorry about last night. I hate getting drunk. I should have eaten something. I don't know what I was thinking. But I'm going to make it up to you. Let me hop in the shower and then I will take you to breakfast." He kissed me gently on the cheek and asked if I could grab his bag from the car. I nodded mutely as he made his way into the bathroom.

I went outside in the crisp morning air and retrieved Peter's bag. As I pulled the bag out of the car I found myself repeating, "Just like kicking a puppy." As I stepped up onto the porch I was startled by a very young woman. She seemed to be checking the names on the doorbells. "Can I help you?" I questioned her sternly.

"Hi." She beamed. "I was just looking for Allison Kendell."

"Uh huh." I muttered. "Come on in. "

As we stepped into the foyer I sized her up quickly. She was young and very attractive with long chestnut hair. She was also very skinny and seemed to possess a bubbly personality. I hated her immediately. Just as I was about to grill her about just what the hell was she doing on my front porch, my apartment door swung open revealing Peter wrapped in just a towel. "Ooops." He said quickly as his face turned a deep shade of red.

"Sorry." The youngster chuckled.

I was just about to hand Peter his bag when I spotted Allison descending the staircase carrying two large trash bags. She looked past the youngster to Peter and then to me. There was no mistaking the cold look in her eyes. She looked betrayed. I gaped back up at her helplessly. Finally she noticed the youngster.

"Courtney?" She blurted out. "Courtney. God even her name was cute. Now I know I hated her. She was just so young and perky I could just throw up."

"Hey there." Courtney giggled.

"I was just about to call you." Allison said quickly.

"I know that I'm early but it's a beautiful morning and I couldn't wait to see you." Courtney explained. "There's suppose to be this great place around the corner for breakfast."

"The Java House?" Allison and I responded in unison.

"Yeah that's it." Courtney nodded enthusiastically. "Hey why don't you two join us!"

"Sounds great." Peter chimed in. "We were just going to grab a bite. I'm Peter by the way."

"Courtney." She extended her hand then withdrew realizing that Peter needed to keep his towel in place. "Ooops." She giggled. I just rolled my eyes as I glared at Allison who now seemed to taking a sudden interest in the wallpaper.

"Peter I don't think . . ." I began to explain.

"Come on sweetie I'm dying to get to know your new friends." He explained. I just stared at him blankly. "Good it's settled then." He gushed. "Ah Stephanie could I have my clothes now?"

I tossed the bag at him as I glared at Allison with a pleading look. She just stood there with her jaw hanging open. Somehow Peter managed to catch the bag and keep his towel place. He muttered thanks and retreated into the apartment. "Do you need help with those?" Courtney asked motioning to the trash bags in Allison's hands. "I'll help her." I snapped quickly as I grabbed one of the bags and dragged Allison away by the arm. We went around back leaving a stunned Courtney in the foyer. Without a word we deposited the bags in the barrels. "What the hell just happened in there?" Allison said wildly.

"Well it seems that we are going on a double date." I snarled.

"No." Allison said firmly while shaking her head.

"Yes." I hissed.

"No." She repeated more strongly.

"Then what are we suppose to do?" I pleaded with her. "Tell me. I'll do it."

I could see the wheels turning in Allison's head finally she released a groan. "There's nothing we can do. We have to go." She conceded. "This sucks. I was just about to call her and cancel. Who knew she would show up eight hours early for our date? Who does that?"

"Children." I answered bitterly.

"Hey!" Allison snapped.

"Oh come on." I snapped back. "How old is she?"

"Old enough." Allison snarled.

"For what?" I hissed. Allison just arched her eyebrow in defense. "I see." I responded coldly. We just stood there like a couple of idiots shivering in the cold. I had enough this was ridiculous. "I didn't sleep with him last night." I explained quietly.

"Was I that transparent?" She asked with a half smile.

"Yes." I answered her gently but honestly. "I suppose seeing him standing there half naked didn't like very good?"

"My fault." She volunteered. "I was just thrown by it."

"He passed out." I explained. "I just sat up all night crying. I thought about coming upstairs. But I was afraid that we might . . . you know."

"Sleep together." Allison stated simply.

"Yes." I confessed with a blush. "But with him downstairs. I know that I need to end things with him. You're right about that."

"If he ever gives you the chance." Allison said sharply.

"What do you mean?"

"Stephanie I must have watched you try to get him out of the party at least twenty times." Allison explained. "You start by saying Peter we need to . . . and then he stops you. He knows."

"About us?" I gasped. Not realizing what I was implying.

"I don't think so." Allison answered with a shake of her head. "But he knows something is up. Face it no good conversation starts with we need to talk. I think he knows that you are leaving him and he is doing everything he can to prevent you from finishing that sentence."

"What do we do now?" I pleaded with her.

"I guess we go to breakfast." Allison responded grimly.

"This should be fun." I tried to joke. "Just like having my teeth drilled. Fine we'll eat and then I'll bring Peter back here and sit him down and tell him the truth. I can't put this off any longer."

"Tell me something?" Allison started.

"It's because I don't love him and because I'm gay." I stated with confidence.

"That's not what I was going to ask you." Allison said. "I just wanted to know what we did wrong in a past life to be going through all of this now?"

"I'm not certain but I get the distinct impression that there were matches involved." I teased. "Your turn."

"What?"

"Just when and how did you undo my bra last night?" I said with a blush. "If you hadn't told me I would have walked into the party with the girls exposed." Allison simply wiggled her eyebrows in response. "Whatever." I scoffed.

"So do you think that if we just hide out here long enough they will just go away?" Allison asked in an almost serious tone.

"Not a chance." I sighed.

We waited for a few more moments before the cold became unbearable. Reluctantly we returned to the house. Just as I had predicted we found Peter and Courtney eagerly awaiting us. Allison and I each retrieved our coats and rejoined our dates in the foyer. "I can not wait to see the rest of this house!" Courtney purred in Allison's ear as she took her by the arm and led her out the front door. I swear if Peter had not taken my hand and led me outside I would have kicked the youngster in the head. "So are the two of you related?" Courtney asked as she looked at Peter and I.

"No." Peter laughed. "Well not yet. Stephanie is my girlfriend." He beamed as he gripped my hand tighter.

"Really?" Courtney answered as she cast a curious glance my direction. "Oh yeah you know." I thought as I shot her an angry glare. She responded with a weak smile that reeked of pity as she tried to drape her arm around Allison. The taller woman simply ducked away brushing off the young girl's advances. "Huh? I wonder if anyone would notice if I pushed Courtney out into traffic? Oh stop it! Just a quick breakfast and then this nightmare will be over." I scolded myself.

Upon reaching the Java House we found it crowded even at this early hour. We were forced to wait outside in the cold for a table. Courtney and Peter chattered away while Allison and I simply pretended to listen. Finally we were seated in a booth at the back of the restaurant. "Professor Kendell, Dr. Grant I haven't seen you two ladies in awhile." Betty our favorite waitress greeted us casting a confused look at Courtney snuggled up to Allison. Then she cast another confused glance over at Peter sitting next to myself.

Allison and I quickly requested a round mimosas and a pot of the house coffee. I looked over at Peter's strange expression. I proceeded to order omelets for Peter and myself since he had grown strangely quiet upon Betty's arrival. Allison and Junior followed suit each ordering cheese and mushroom omelets. I fought the gnawing at my stomach when Courtney decided to have whatever Allison was having. Allison just rolled her eyes at me. Betty returned quickly with our beverages. "Perhaps this will help my hangover." Peter joked as he sipped his mimosa.

Betty returned to the table placing an ashtray between Allison and I. "I almost forgot ladies." She apologized as Peter and Courtney's eyes widen in shock. Granted Allison's smoking had been reduced greatly. But when ever we took advantage of dining at the Java House we both indulged in smoking. Probably since it was one of the few remain places you could light up without being arrested. Without thinking I accepted the cigarette Allison offered me. "Stephanie!" Peter yelped. I quickly handed the cigarette back to Allison not wanting to explain the familiar exchange between Allison and myself.

"I didn't know that you smoked?" Courtney asked in disgust.

"I'm trying to quit." Allison grumbled weakly as she reluctantly returned the pack to the pocket of her camel hair over coat.

"So what's up Pete?" Allison asked tersely. "You've become awfully quiet all of sudden." Her shortening of his name did not escape my notice. Nor did escape my notice that Courtney was climbing all over her.

"I'm just putting something together." He answered absently as my body stiffened. "Allison Kendell?" He said slowly.

"Yes?" She responded with a warning tone.

"The Allison Kendell?" His voice squeaked out. I felt him grip my hand tighter as I held my breath.

"I hope so I'm wearing her underwear." Allison shot back.

"The lawyer?" Peter asked sternly. I released my breath in relief. Suddenly I realized what was going on.

"Peter." I said to him as I gave him a look that I had hoped he would understand and not continue.

"I thought you taught history?" Courtney asked in confusion.

"I do." Allison protested. She looked at me for help.

"Peter it was a long time ago." I said quietly to him. I was hoping to calm him down. I remember how upset he was after my first encounter with Allison. I remember how he tried to cheer me up. One of the ways he accomplished his mission was to refer to Allison in not very nice terms. I found it hard to believe that he was just putting this together now? I had time admit sometimes his timing just sucked.

"What?" Allison questioned me holding up her hands in confusion.

"Lawyer Barbie." I offered as an explanation.

"Great." Allison groaned. "Just what did I do to you?"

"I'll tell you what you did." Peter shot out in anger.

"Peter." I stopped him. "Let it go." I warned him.

"Enough." Allison cut in. "Yes it's true I am that Allison Kendell. I was the lawyer from Wainwright and Griggs who made your girl . . . who made Stephanie cry. Not that it is any of your concern Pete, but I have already apologized for what I did. I wasn't a very nice person back then."

"None of my business." Peter shot back in a protective manner.

"Jesus Peter why don't you just mark your territory?" I thought as I watched the two of them try to stare each other down. "Peter it is in the past. Allison and I have already talked about this. She is my colleague and my friend." I watched him hang his head in sudden embarrassment. He looked like a child who was being punished. He looked up at me with pleading eyes. "Oh boy." I heard Allison sigh as she poured herself another cup of coffee.

"I'm sorry Allison." Peter offered. "I just remember how much Stephanie had been hurt at the time. Forgive me?"

"No worries." Allison muttered as she shrugged nonchalantly.

"So are you a lawyer or a history professor? Courtney asked in confusion.

"I am a history professor." Allison tried to explain. "I was a lawyer. Can we drop this now?" Allison groaned.

"You were with Wainwright and Griggs? That is so funny." Courtney giggled.

"Hysterical." Allison responded flatly. "Just keep going little Courtney and maybe Allison will dump your perky ass before the check arrives?" I couldn't help but smirk as the thought popped into my head.

"Kinda of yeah." Courtney giggled once again. "Wainwright and Griggs are the reason I went to Law School."

"You're a lawyer!" Allison choked as she spit out her coffee, which managed to just miss hitting Peter.

"Not yet." Courtney volunteered. "I just graduated from Harvard I still need to pass the bar. But it was the firm of Wainwright and Griggs that inspired me to get into law in the first place." "Oh this is to good to be true."

"Please tell me you are joking?" Allison pleaded.

"No." Courtney boasted proudly. "Those bastards took every cent my Grandparents had. I decided to become a lawyer to make sure that didn't happen to someone else."

"Thank God." Allison sighed as Betty arrived with our food.

Eager to avoid any more conversations or confrontations Allison and I ate quickly while Peter and Courtney chatted away like old friends. Occasionally one of us would answer a question or nod in agreement. I had no idea what they were talking about; I was simply relieved that the meal was almost over. As our dates continued chatting Allison and I drained the pot of coffee. Betty brought another round of mimosas that I have no idea who ordered. Allison reached for her coffee and Courtney reached for the inside of Allison's thigh. I have no idea what came over me at that moment. Hell I know what overcame me. I was jealous! Without a second thought I made a sweeping motion with my arm like I was reaching for something. My aim was dead on. Courtney's mimosa landed directly in her lap.

Courtney yelped as she jumped up in surprise. "I'm so sorry." I lied as I surprised my laughter at the sight of her orange stained crotch. I mentally high fived myself as I thought about how cold the drink was. "It's okay." Courtney muttered as she raced off to the ladies room. I was greeted by a disbelieving look from Allison. "Ooops." I offered in my defense. Allison simply curled her lips and shook her head. Betty rushed over and quickly cleaned up the mess with Allison's assistance. "Thank you Betty." Allison offered. "It seams that Dr. Grant has lost control of her senses. " She shot me another angry look. I simply shrugged off her accusation. "Could we have the check when you have a chance?"

Courtney rejoined us with a smile and a very wet pair of jeans. "Oh Cory that looks terrible." I gasped trying not to sound condescending. "I am so sorry." I lied once again.

"Courtney." The youngster growled and then quickly smiled. "Not a problem accidents happen. I have another pair of jeans in my car." She added as she began to caress Allison's arm. "I can change at your place before we go." She smiled to Allison. "She brought a change of clothes?"

"Go?" Allison and I said in unison.

"Weren't the two of you paying attention?" Peter asked as the check arrived.

"Of course." Allison lied.

"We better hurry if we are going to beat the traffic." Courtney rubbed Allison's shoulders. Allison just flashed a warning look at me. "Unless you don't want to go to Salem? We could just stay in?" Courtney purred.

"No." Allison said quickly as she pulled away from Courtney's touch. "Salem at Halloween sounds like fun." She looked to me for help. "No way stretch you are on your own." I just smirked at her and received another glare. "Perhaps you and Pete would rather be alone?" Allison suggested.

"We have all day tomorrow for that." Peter offered with a smile.

"That's right." I replied quickly.

Peter paid the check against our protesting. The four of us left the restaurant and Allison quickly pulled me aside and motioned for our dates to go on without us. "What in hell are you thinking?" She spat out once we were alone.

"If you think I'm going to leave alone with Lolita there . . . you are sadly mistaken." I responded bitterly.

"What's it to you?" Allison scoffed. "I'm not your girlfriend."

"No you're right you are not my girlfriend." I shot back. "I'm not anyone's girlfriend."

"Well that will be news to Pete." She snarled.

"His name is Peter." I argued. "And I'm going to tell him the truth."

"When?" Allison groaned. "After you the two of you are married and have twelve children?"

"Today!" I shouted as I closed the distance between and poked her in the chest. "I'll tell him everything today."

"Do what you want." She shot back as she pressed against me.

"Fine I will." I spat back. "Shouldn't you get back to your date before her curfew kicks in."?" Very clever." Allison sneered as I pulled her hips into my body. "It's none of your business." She groaned pushing herself into me.

"You're right it's none of my business." I gasped as my body moved against her. "Do what you want. Date her. Fuck her for all I care."

It was the harshness of my own words that brought me back reality. There I was pressed up against the brick wall of the Java House practically having sex with Allison in the middle of the street. I was about to pull away as I felt her strong thigh slide between my legs. I clutched her hips and thrust my hips against her. All I wanted to do at that moment was to ride her thigh until I found the release that I so desperately needed. "Does he make you feel this way?" A cruel voice whispered hotly in my ear. That was it. I pushed her away and stomped off fighting back the tears. I could feel her presences following me as I walked back to the house. "Hey there you two are." Peter called out as we approached. They were smiling and waving as they stood next Courtney's aging Volvo. Courtney had already changed into a fresh pair of blue jeans and was holding the car door open. Peter took my hand and before I realized it I was sitting in the back seat with him. Allison climbed into the front passenger seat and slammed the door.

The trip was long and strenuous. Peter and Courtney chatted away at every stop we made. Allison hid behind her dark Rayban sunglasses and we kept our distance. I could feel her anger emanating from her. I simply grinded my teeth and stewed in my own anger. Now was not the time to have my little chat with Peter. But I did try repeatedly to get him alone so we could talk. Allison was right. Peter did everything he could to avoid being alone with me. He was however determined to show me a good time. He had taken my hand on the drive up and refused to release it during the entire outing. I noticed several women eyeing him. I silently wished that he would notice them.

The hour grew late and Allison wanted return before dark so she could hand out candy to the neighborhood children. We drove back I could feel the tension growing as we approached our house. Allison and Courtney left us. They had plans to hand out candy then they were going dancing. Peter and I would finally be alone and I could sit him down. Upon entering the apartment he excused himself to the bathroom. This was it! I sat down on the futon and waited for him. I was confused when I awoke several hours later covered in a blanket. The emotional turmoil and lack of sleep must have caught up with me. "Come on Sweetheart." Peter said gently. "I thought we could go dancing tonight."

Still half asleep I nodded mutely and made my way to the shower. I showered and dressed on autopilot. It wasn't until we were heading out the front door that it hit me. I was going out with Peter! "How did that happen?" During the trip into Cambridge I made several valiant efforts to talk to him. But he kept changing the subject. He was very excited about the place we were going. He had arranged to meet a friend of his. Bob something or other was meeting us. So much for being alone. "I can't wait for you to meet Bob." Peter chimed as we walked from the parking garage on Green Street. I saw the black building and the crowd waiting to show their ids so they could enter. "There's Bob." Peter waved excitedly to his friend.

Bob was a well built tanned blonde surfer type. He was talking to or at least was trying to talk to a familiar raven-haired beauty. "Wow for a second I thought that was Allison." Peter gasped. "Close." I replied noticing the similar features. The same infectious laugh and cocky stance. The only noticeable difference was the height and the brown eyes. We approached the pair as Bob waved us over. Startled brown eyes smiled at me warmly. "Hey blondie." Nicole greeted me with a warm embrace. "You know each other?" Bob ranted. "Wow that is great." Nicole simply rolled her eyes. "Hi I'm Bob." He beamed as he offered his clammy paw to me for a lukewarm embrace. "Stephanie." I replied causally.

"So now that you have met my friends maybe you will let me buy you that drink?" Bob persisted.

Nicole shot her elbow back and connected with his rib cage. Bob gasped for air. "I told you before buddy, I don't drink." Nicole growled. "I see that the Kendell charm is in full swing." I joked.

"Speaking of charm where is the Amazon?" Nicole inquired. "Don't tell me she made you wait in line by yourself. I'm going to have to teach that girl some manners."

"Date." I said flatly. "She is on a date." I explained further to Nicole's confused gaze.

"I see." Nicole scowled. Then I watched her eyes widen as she caught Peter's eye. "Well Hi there. I'm Nicole." She offered her hand to him.

"Peter." He squeaked as he draped his arm around my shoulders. Another curious look swept across the younger Kendall’s face. "I'm Stephanie's boyfriend."

"Uh huh." Nicole responded with a sudden indifference.

"So are you related to Allison?" Peter asked uncomfortably.

"Yes. She is my older and seriously misguided sister." She answered wryly and winked at me. "So what brings you kids to the Galaxy?"

"The Galaxy?" I gasped. Damn it! This is where Allison was coming tonight.

The doorman requested our id's as he simply waved Nicole in. She took my hand and led me in the doorway. "She's with me." She explained leaving Peter and Bob dumbfounded. The doorman simply stamped our hands without question. We walked in and Nicole waved to the cashier who simply waved us in. "You don't pay?" I questioned.

"No back when I was drinking I think I dropped my entire trust fund here." Nicole explained. "So Peter's cute." She smiled.

"You want him?" I offered hopefully. Looking over at the red neon sign with the words The Galaxy emblazed across it. "I can't believe he brought me here? This is where your sister is coming."

"This should be fun." Nicole groaned.

"Fun it is then." Bob offered.

"Listen Bubba . . ." Nicole scoffed.

"Bob." He retorted not getting the hint.

"Whatever." Nicole snarled then she leaned over and whispered to me. "This jerk has been hitting on me since I got in line."

"Hey Nicole." A voice called out.

"Sorry that's my friends." She apologized waving back a group of people. "I hate to ditch you but we are all from the program. We kind of like to keep an eye on each other in places like this." With that she gave me a quick hug and waved to Peter before joining her friends.

Left alone with Bob and Peter I looked around the expansive nightclub. I was impressed. To my left was a room with a large dance floor. The lights pulsated to the music as two disco balls glimmered above the sea of bodies dancing to YMCA. I could not help but notice the diversity of the crowd. There were many people donned in Halloween costumes for the festivities. Others were clad in traditional Goth or PVC. While many people were dressed in blue jeans and T-shirts. There were men and women dancing together, men and men dancing together and women and women dancing together. No one seemed to mind the differences of the people they shared the dance floor with.

The large dance room had three full bars open. I watched in amazement as the bartenders moved with grace and ease even though they were swarmed with customers. "How can they hear anything?" I wondered aloud.

"Most of the bartenders have been here for years." Bob explained. "I still don't know how they do it. Most of them are hard of hearing. Just be sure they can see your stamp when you order."

"Why?" Peter asked as we both examined the black stamp of Elroy from the Jetsons placed on the back of our left hands.

"It let's the bartender know that you are over twenty one." Bob answered. "See the kids with the large black X's on both hands. They are under age. Their first stop is usually downstairs to wash off the marks in the bathroom. But the bartenders won't serve them unless they see a stamp. It's Massachusetts and the laws are very strict."

Just as Bob finished his explanation I looked over to my right. This room was decorated as a lounge area with a long bar cover the length of the back wall. The room had velvet couch and several arm chairs. There were also two old time video games and a pool table. The bartender was a tall African American man standing there with his hands placed firmly on his hips. "Listen sweetie no stamp mean no cocktail." He explained impatiently. "Now if you are old enough you will haul your pretty ass back over to security and get a stamp." The youngster just slumped away.

I chuckled at the sight. When I cast my eyes back to the lounge area I saw them at the pool table. Allison was bent over trying to make a shot while Courtney was trying to feel her ass. My blood was boiling. "Why was Allison letting her touch her? Stop it Stephanie. Remember you don't have any right to feel jealous. You said it yourself this morning. Allison can date whoever she wants. Hell you even told her she could fuck the girl for all you cared." I lied. I do care more than I should.

Just as I was about to storm over and break up their little party a felt a hand on my shoulder. I spun around to find Maureen smiling back at me. I hugged her quickly. Then I made the proper introductions. She in turn introduced us to her husband Mort. Peter, Bob and Mort offered to check our coats. "Come on let me buy you a drink." Maureen offered as she led me through an open doorway. On the other side of the doorway was another dance room with three more bars in full service. This room was smaller and darker than the first with gothic paintings adorning the walls. At the far end of the room was a stage covered with wrought iron bars. In the opposite end of the room was a telephone booth. "What's with the phone booth?" I questioned.

"That's so you can make a request from the dj in this room." Maureen explained. "Come on let's go to Teresa Raven's bar."

Maureen guided me threw the crowd and shouted above the eighties new wave blaring from the speakers. She led me to the largest bar in the room near the telephone booth. Behind the bar was a tiny woman with platinum blonde hair dressed in a flowing black dress. I wondered how she could move so will in such an outfit? As she approached us I noticed that both of her wrists were tattooed in a floral pattern and both her nose and lip were pierced. "What can I get for you Ladies?" She asked brightly.

"Captain and coke." Maureen ordered quickly.

"Something strong." I shrugged.

"Red Death." Teresa suggested.

"We don't want to kill her." Maureen interjected. "How about a cuervo sunrise?"

"No tequila." I said sternly. "Just a white zinfandel."

Teresa nodded and departed to fix our cocktails. "So how old is that child with Allison?" Maureen shouted over the GoGo's.

"According to Allison old enough." I answered bitterly.

"For what?" Maureen laughed. "I heard the four of you had just a super day!" Maureen teased with a wide-eyed expression.

"Who said that?"

"The teenager." Maureen answered sarcastically. "Look out here comes trouble." Maureen said looking over my shoulder. I steadied myself and was relieve to find Nicole approaching us. She waved to Teresa who just nodded. Nicole joined us. "Ladies." She greeted us. Teresa returned with our drinks and a bottle of Poland Springs water for Nicole.

"I have this." I offered as I reached for my wallet.

"Thanks." Maureen and Nicole accepted.

"Just make you sure you tip Teresa well." Nicole pointed out. "Rumor has it that she once killed a coat check girl."

"What do mean rumored?" Teresa laughed as she accepted my money.

"Still you wouldn't want to be Lucyed on your first trip here." Maureen offered.

"What's that?" I asked.

"To be Lucyed you must do two things." Teresa explained. "You must be rude and cheap. If you are then you could walk up to the bar with Lucy Lawless strapped to your ass and I still wouldn't wait on you." Teresa then pointed to the button she was wearing that stated in bold purple lettering 'Don't make me use the Lucy Law!’

"Who?" I questioned not understanding. "Never mind just keep the change." I teased.

"Thank you Miss." Teresa smiled and went off to wait on more patrons.

"So, what are you Gals talking about?" Nicole inquired.

"I was just going to ask Stephanie here where she and Allison disappeared to last night at the party?" Maureen stated smugly as she sipped her cocktail.

"Do tell?" Nicole encouraged.

"I don't want to talk about it." I answered.

"Come on Stephanie share." Maureen pushed. "Tell us what is going on?"

"Who knows?" I responded with a hint of defeat in my voice.

I sipped my wine and pretended that the two of them weren't staring at me. "I don't want to talk about it." I said finally as I slammed my glass down on the bar. I looked at Maureen who was standing to my left. She just smiled at me. I turned to Nicole who was standing on my right with her arms folded across her chest giving me the same knowing look. I was trapped. "It's the truth I don't know what is going on." I offered and received two disbelieving glares cast down at me.

"There you are." Mort called out as he approached his wife. He placed a tender kiss on her cheek. "Everyone is looking for the two of you. Hey Nicole how are you?"

"No complaints Mort. Good to see you." Nicole answered warmly.

"We will be with you in just a second Mort." Maureen explained to her husband. "We were in the middle of some girl talk."

"Please hurry." Mort pleaded. "Peter is nice enough but that Bob guy is driving me crazy."

"Bob?" Nicole groaned.

"Yeah." Mort sighed. "If we don't get back there they might just come looking for us."

"Gotta go." Nicole spit out quickly and disappeared into the crowd.

Maureen groaned as her back up left alone. "Come on." She conceded. "Thank you Mort!" The three of us departed the bar and made our way back into the lounge area. At the bar we found Peter and Bob. They weren't alone, little Courtney had joined them. "Look who I found!" Peter said brightly.

"Hey there." Courtney giggled as she waved to us. "We were just going to do some shots."

"Maybe you could fix her up with Peter." Maureen whispered to me slyly.

I laughed thinking about how well the two of them got along. It would be the perfect solution. Just then a tall beautiful blonde approached the bar. Everyone with exception of Maureen turned and watched her as she ordered and got her drinks. Maureen just glared at Mort. The rest of the party including myself watched the blonde as she walked away. Peter was definitely not Courtney's type.

"Mort." Maureen growled at her husband who was now hanging his head in shame. All eyes turned to me expecting me to do the same to Peter. "How could I since I had also checked out the woman's attributes?" I just shrugged catching a knowing smirk from Courtney.

"How many kamikazes?" The tall bartender asked.

"None for me." Maureen said quickly. "This is my last drink since I am driving."

"Darling?" Peter asked.

"No thank you." I replied as I waved off the offer. The last thing I needed was to get drunk.

"Five then." Courtney ordered.

"Five?" I questioned.

"Yeah the four of us and one for Allison." She responded brightly.

"She won't drink that." I added honestly. Little Courtney just glared at me.

"I won't drink what?" The deep alto voice said from behind me.

"We're doing kamikaze shots." Courtney offered brightly.

"No thanks." Allison said bluntly as Courtney pouted. "Daisy four shots and a bottle of Poland Springs."

"Daisy?" Peter questioned in confusion.

"Yes?" The tall bartender said as he wink at Peter. Peter's voice turned paled as he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer. Daisy just laughed and he lined up the shots and a bottle of spring water for Allison. She paid for the round quickly and tipped the man generously. "Thanks Daisy." She smiled. Our four companions downed their shots quickly and proceeded to order another round and beers to follow their shots. The four of them continued to drink while Allison, Maureen and I talked about school. The three of us passed on all offers for alcohol. Courtney seemed disappointed that Allison wasn't joining in on the festivities.

Nicole approached quietly and pulled Allison aside. The two of them walked to the other side of the lounge and began a very animated conversation. I caught one or two words that they were saying. Unfortunately they were speaking French again. "What the hell?" Courtney growled catching sight of the two of them re-approaching the crowd. "Now what?" Courtney slurred as the Kendell sisters rejoined us. I felt no need to inform Courtney that Nicole was Allison sister. Let her think what she wants. Apparently Maureen agreed with my choice as she stood there smirking. "This has been happening all night." Courtney slurred again.

"Imbecile!" Nicole snapped at her sister as she shook her head in disgust. Allison simply held up a cautioning finger in her sister's face. Courtney strutted over to Allison and placed a possessive hand on her arm as she stood toe to toe with Nicole. Courtney raised a warning finger and was about to poke her in the chest when Allison stopped her. "Se conduire, petit fille!" Nicole warned. I have no idea what she was saying but it did not look good for Courtney. "Ivre?" Nicole asked looking at her sister and then casting a look at Courtney.

"Oui." Allison nodded.

"Listen you Euro trash . . ." Courtney began to sputter.

"Stupide, bete." Nicole laughed as she stared down at the youngster.

"Down Courtney." Allison cautioned her. "My sister is a black belt."

"I'm not the only one." Nicole smiled up at her older sibling.

"Sister?" Courtney blushed. "Oh my gosh. I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

"Uh huh." Nicole waved Courtney off with in difference. "Une petite fille." Nicole scoffed looking at her sister.

"Arret!" Allison warned her sister.

"Do you know what they are saying?" I whispered to Maureen.

"From what I can catch Nicole just called Courtney stupid and a little girl." Maureen whispered back with a smirk. At this point Nicole pushed past her sister and her date and joined us. Bob quickly rushed over. "Glad to see you came back." He leered. "You're sure I can't buy you a drink?"

"She doesn't drink." Allison growled.

"Ally." Nicole waved her off. "I can handle this chien. Listen Bert . . ."

"Bob." He corrected her.

"Whatever." Nicole rolled her eyes. "I don't drink not ever. I can't I'm in AA."

"Huh?"

"I'm a alcoholic." Nicole spelled it out for him.

"Oh." He finally caught on. "Well how about a dance?"

"No." Nicole brushed him off.

"Why?" He seemed confused. "Are you . . . well you know like your sister?"

"You mean a lesbian." Nicole laughed. "Hell no. I just think you are obnoxious."

"Right." He laughed. "So about that dance?"

"Not the sharpest knife in draw is he?" Nicole concluded. Just then a beeping sound interrupted the conversation. Nicole grabbed the pager clipped to her belt and quickly examined it. "That's me." She explained. "It's the hospital. I'm on call. I need to go. Allison I will talk to you later. Mort, Maureen good seeing you. Peter a real pleasure meeting you." She smiled sweetly at him. "Stephanie I'm sure I will see you again." With that she smirked at her sister and left.

"Nice meeting you." Courtney called after her. Nicole never turned around. "So your sister is a doctor?" She asked Allison.

"Resident at MGH." Allison replied.

"I wouldn't mind playing doctor with her." Bob drooled.

"Excuse me!" Allison snapped. "You wouldn't be making any unwanted advances towards my baby sister now would you?"

"Huh?" Bob looked around unaware of the danger he was in. "She is so hot."

"Bob." Peter cut in placing himself between Allison and Bob. "Dude shut up now." Peter warned him. Bob just got that far away look in his eyes. "Hey you know the bartender in the disco room said you were cute." Peter added.

"Really?" Bob beamed and strutted into the disco room.

"Thank you." I said as I took Peter's arm breathing a sigh of relief that no blood had been spilled.

"No problem." Peter answered. "He's not a bad guy. He just a little bit of a . . ."

"Dumb ass." Allison cut in. This received a rousing round of laughter from the entire group.

"Basically." Peter agreed.

"You know the bartender you sent him to is a lesbian." Allison explained.

"Yes I do." Peter smirked knowingly. This received another round of laughter.

The tension had vanished from everyone with the exception of myself. I found myself standing there with my hand on Peter's arm. It was such a small gesture but I understood its implications. It somehow said that I was his. Peter and Courtney were about to order another round of drinks. "Peter." I cautioned him not wanting a repeat of last night. I pulled him over to me and leaned up and whispered in his ear. "Peter we need to talk." I had finally said it and I was certain no one else had heard me. Now was the time to get him out of there. "Okay." He said loudly. "But first you owe me a dance." He added brushing off what I had just said. "What do you say?" He smiled. "Dance with me." Everyone was looking at me with the exception of Allison. "What could I do?" I allowed him to take my hand and lead me into the front dance room.

Peter and I had always danced well together until tonight. Perhaps it was the guilt but every time he touched me I pulled away. I survived dancing to three songs before I could pull him off the dance floor. As we were exiting the dance floor I saw Allison and Courtney dancing very closely together. Allison looked incredible tonight with her black jeans and red silk blouse. Watching her sway to the music was thrilling. But it broke my heart to see another woman touching her.

Peter and I rejoined the others. Bob had returned apparently shot down by the bartender. Everyone was deep in conversation. What they were talking about was a mystery to me. I failed to join in on the conversation. I just watched the dance floor trying to catch glimpses of Allison and Courtney. Someone said something to me but I failed to respond. I was far too busy looking for a certain dark haired beauty. They had disappeared into the crowd. Peter slid his arm around me and out of habit I placed my hand in his. It was a familiar yet empty gesture. Just as it had always been.

"Stephanie?" A voice called to me. "Huh?" I was shaken out of my thoughts as I realized that it had been Peter talking to me. "I asked if you wanted something to drink?" He asked. "No thanks." I answered as I looked back towards to the dance floor. Frustrated and feeling a little bit like a stalker I excused myself and went downstairs to the ladies room. It was crowded and to my surprise the long line of people included men. Granted most of them were wearing dresses but for a girl who grew up in Connecticut it was a bit of a shock. No one else seemed to notice. I looked around at the young faces and suddenly began to feel self-conscious. I was definitely over dressed in my black dress and heels. Not to mention my matching purse.

Standing in line gave me time to think. The events of the day had been so surreal. I could have stopped most everything from happening. All I had to do was break up Peter. All I needed to do was to finally tell him that it was over between us. I could have done it last night or this morning. Instead jealousy won out and I spent the day touring around Salem. There was no way in hell I was going to leave Allison alone with that girl. If only I had trusted Allison and done what I knew I should do? Look where it got me. Peter was doing everything he could to avoid talking to me alone. Allison was pissed off because I was allowing him to get away with it. Courtney was doing everything she could to get Allison into bed. At this rate if I don't pull myself together I am going to end up as a flower girl at their wedding.

I left the ladies room deciding that hiding there was not going to solve anything. As I stepped out into the dark hallway I felt a familiar hand on my arm. Gently she pulled me around the corner next to the pay phone. I had known her touch instantly. I pulled her close to me and held her tightly. "Allison." I whispered.

"How are you holding up?" She asked gently as she stepped slightly away from me.

"Not very well." I answered honestly. "I'm sorry about today. I should have never gone to Salem."

"No." Allison responded firmly. "This is my fault. I had no right telling you what you should do. This is none of my business."

"None of your business?" I answered sadly. "So last night and this morning meant nothing to you? It meant something to me. I don't go around just kissing anyone." There was no harshness to my words just simple honesty.

"Of course it meant something to me." Allison answered looking deeply into my eyes. "It means so much to me that it is scaring the hell out me. Stephanie you have no idea of the power you hold over me. Last night, this morning and right now."

"Right now?" I moaned as she lowered her head and ran her tongue across my lips. Her lips brushed mine gently as her tongue begged for entrance. I parted my lips and allowed her in. I pulled her closer as our kiss deepened. I felt my legs opening slightly as her thigh slid between them. Our bodies melt together. I could feel my legs tremble as became aware of the wetness between my legs. I shivered as I felt a hand feeling it's way up under the hem of my dress and caressing my cheek.

I felt lost not knowing where I stopped and she began. A sudden coldness overcame me as she pulled away. I opened my eyes as I felt the coldness of the basement wall I was pressed up against. Only moments ago I was on fire. Her touch alone had burned me and now I was freezing. "Not like this." She explained tenderly as she brushed her hand across my face. "We'll talk later." She offered as her other hand retreated from under my dress. I nodded to her as I straighten my clothing. She brushed my arm gently and then and walked away. Her departure wasn't like the other times. Allison was not running away. I stood there for a moment as she went to the coat check her eyes never leaving mine as she received the clothing and departed. I gave her time to make her departure while I collected myself. Finally I went upstairs.

I touched Peter gently on the arm and with a new found sense of strength I whispered to him. "We should go."

"But it's still early." He protested.

"You're not leaving too?" Bob piped in. "First Courtney and Allison and now you two. "

"It was past Courtney's bedtime." Maureen added snidely.

"I just can't believe that those two beautiful women are lesbians." Bob add in disbelief.

"Oh please." Daisy scoffed from behind us he just smiled and pretended to be busy.

I shot Bob a cold look suddenly wishing that Peter had allowed Allison to kill him. I grabbed Peter firmly by the arm. "Excuse us." I said as I dragged Peter away from the others. "Peter." I spoke firmly as I placed my hand over his mouth to stop him. "We have to talk and not here. Get our coats." I demanded.

"Okay." He conceded sadly. Then he turned back to the others as I walked over to the bar. "We're taking off." Peter announced with a false joyous tone.

"No." Bob argued.

"Bob what would you do?" Peter teased him. "Stay here and look at your ugly mug or go home with her?"

Bob just laughed as he saluted Peter with his bottle of Rolling Rock. Daisy and Maureen just cast an all too knowing look at me. Peter went downstairs to get our coats and I ordered a bottle of water from Daisy. He brought it quickly. As I paid for the over priced water Daisy leaned over and very quietly said, "Girl you are going to break that boy's heart."

"I didn't know that it showed." I answered as I placed a tip on the bar.

"You know you might want to come in on a Thursday night." Daisy suggested softly.

"Thursday?" I responded. "Isn't that gay night. Oh . . . how did you know?"

"Oh please honey." Daisy laughed. "You're not fooling this queen with those Doris Day looks of yours. Of course from what I heard about Doris." He teased.

I just laughed as I sipped my water. I only had the one drink that night but I wanted to be completely lucid for my talk with Peter. He returned with our coats and we said our goodbyes. I took his keys from him and we stepped out into the cold autumn air. Neither of us spoke as we walked back to the parking garage. The drive home was silent as well. As we crossed over the town line into Haven Peter finally spoke. "Is there someone else?" He asked in a strained voice.

"No." I answered. "And yes."

"What the hell does that mean?" He snapped.

"I have met someone." I tried to explain. "But that isn't why I'm . . ."

"Dumping me." He snapped. "It's true you're leaving me aren't you?"

"Peter, I'm sorry." I said quietly.

"I don't understand Stephanie." He was bitter. "Are you . . . have you slept with him?"

"Oh boy! Of course he would assume it was a man." Life can offer you so many options to a situation. Now of course I could have just told him everything right then and there and let everything hit the fan all at once. Or I could do what I did. Not lie but not tell the entire truth. Somehow I thought it would be easier on him if I just skipped over the most important reason why I was letting him go. "No." I answered with some degree of honesty. "The truth is that I'm not in love with you." Okay it was the truth but not the whole truth.

"Don't say that!" He shouted.

I was thrown by his anger as we pulled up in front of the house I received a second shock. Courtney's car was parked out in front. Peter and I just sat in the car each of us lost in our own thoughts. Finally he ripped off his seat belt and sprang out of car slamming the door behind him. I jumped out quickly. "Peter?" I pleaded.

"What!" He shouted.

"Please don't." I begged him.

"Don't be angry!" He bellowed.

I just stared at him. "Let's go inside and talk okay?" I offered calmly. He slumped his shoulders and nodded mutely. As we entered my apartment we were greeted by the obvious sounds of someone having sex. "Well at least your friends are having a good time." He said bitterly.

"What do you mean?" I asked in horror.

He just gave me a knowing look and pointed to the ceiling. The sounds were most definitely coming from upstairs. There exact location was unfamiliar to me. It couldn't be Allison! Why would she? But then again Courtney's car is parked out front. I tried to dismiss the sounds as Peter shrugged off his coat. I just stood there with my hands in my pockets unable to focus on the events unfolding around me. I was jolted out of my musings by the sounds of laughter coming from Allison's apartment. "I'll make us some coffee." I offered weakly.

I removed my coat and went into my kitchen. As I prepared the coffee I was relieved that the sounds from upstairs had ceased. "Had I wait too long? Or was this just some sort of game to her?"

"Stephanie?" Peter's voice brought me back to reality. "Please tell me what I did to make you fall out of love with me?"

I turned to him slowly. "Oh Peter it's nothing you did." I answered him gently. "The truth is that I was never in love with you." I swallowed hard as I watched his face turn pale. "What?" He gasped as sat down on the futon. He looked as if someone had just hit him hard. I went to him and knelt beside him. "That's a lie." He said in a daze. "I'm sorry." I said softly. "It's true. I love you as a friend. Peter you are my best friend. But I should have never let it go beyond that. This is my fault."

"Never?" Peter said absently. "I don't believe you."

"I'm sorry." I repeated over and over again. My heart was breaking for what I was putting him through. But I knew that if I stayed with him that I would be doing something far crueler than what I was doing now.

"Was it the sex?" He asked sincerely. "I knew that you never seemed comfortable with it. Was that it?"

"No." I lied and I told him the truth. How could I explain to him that I spent my entire life thinking that sex was not something that interested me? But now just one look from Allison and I felt alive. "Peter I used you. I was so determined not to end up like my Mother that I lost sight of what my heart really wanted. I thought our friendship was enough."

"When did all of this happen?" He was stunned. "I knew that something was wrong. You kept blowing me off and I had to chase you down just to get you to talk on the telephone. When we did talk you were so distant. I thought maybe I was smothering you and then I thought maybe you were feeling neglected. I've struggling for months trying to figure out what the hell I was doing wrong? Stephanie when did I loose you?"

"I knew how I really felt not long after I moved here." I answered suddenly feeling ashamed.

"I don't understand?" He stammered. "Then why did you wait so long to tell me?"

"I didn't want to hurt you." I offered weakly.

"You didn't want to hurt me?" He responded in a bewilder tone. "The only way you were going to do that was by not doing this. This is breaking my heart."

"I don't want that." I cried. "I never wanted that. I wish there was someway I could undo all of this."

"You can." He pleaded with an odd sense of forcefulness to his voice. "Stay with me. We can work this out. I know that you must have been in love with me once."

"Oh Peter no." I cried. "It's over."

We talked for hours while Peter made a few more attempts for a second chance. When the sun came up we were both exhausted. When it was time for him to leave I hoped that he had finally accepted that it was over between us. I had explained that I was afraid that I would lose his friendship. He told me he needed time to work this out. Reluctantly he left my apartment just before seven am. I stood in the driveway and waved goodbye to him. I prayed that it would not be the last time I saw him.

I turned to go back into the house when I was greeted by Courtney bouncing down the staircase. "Morning!" She giggled. "Rough night?" She asked pointing to the dress I was still wearing from last night. I tried to ignore her as I went to my apartment door. "So where's Peter?" She smirked.

"He's gone." I said sadly.

"I see." She answered. "Well I'm off. I guess I'll be seeing you around."

I spun around and gave the child an icy glare. "What's that suppose to mean?" I snapped.

"What do you think?" She purred and nodded towards the upstairs and then cast a wink in my direction. "We should be quiet Allison is still sleeping. I'm afraid we didn't get much sleep last night." She boasted.

"Bitch." I muttered under my breath and tried to retreat into my apartment.

"Really?" She responded coolly having caught my comment. "I'm a bitch. Forgive me but I wasn't the drooling over someone else's date yesterday. Tell me something Stephanie did your boyfriend take off because he finally figured out that it was Allison you wanted."

"Where do you get off?" I snarled.

"Listen lady." Courtney cut me to the quick. "I don't know what your deal is. And I don't care. All I do know is I'm the one who spent the night with Allison. What did you think would happen? That maybe she'd be willing to date you and Peter?"

"Peter and I are not together anymore." I shot back. Why was I telling her this?

"Well isn't that convenient." She mocked me. "Whatever. Like I said I'll be seeing you around. I'll just make sure I keep plenty of clothes here just incase you decide to toss another drink at me. I didn't miss a thing yesterday. So just back off blondie." Having made her position clear she bounced out of the front door and was on her way.

I stormed into the apartment and slamming the door behind me. I stripped off my clothing and threw myself onto the futon and let the tears flow. I pulled my knees to chest and wept uncontrollably. "It couldn't be true!" I cried over and over again until sleep finally claimed me. My dreams were a confusing stream of images. Allison kissing me. Allison kissing Courtney. Peter laughing at me. I was jolted out of my slumber by the sounds of music blaring from Allison's apartment. I shivered from the cold as I realized that I had been sleeping naked on top of the bed. I dragged myself into the shower. I found no solace from the steamy water. None of this made any sense. I gave up and stepped out of the shower. I looked into the mirror. The sight of myself shocked me. I looked like Monday morning in Hell. My face was bloated; my eyes were puffy and red. Disgusted by the sight I slumped out of the bathroom. Grabbing a pair sweat pants and a T-shirt. I doubt that either was very clean. I dressed and debated on making a pot of coffee or simply going back to bed.

I looked at the clock noticing that it was after one in the afternoon. Allison never slept this late. "Was Courtney telling the truth? Had they slept together?" This just isn't adding up. Was Allison capable of making out with me one moment and then bedding another woman the next? From everything I thought I knew about Allison it seemed out of character for her. Then how do you explain Courtney spending the night? And Allison sleeping in? Then there were the sounds of passion that had greeted Peter and myself last night when we entered my apartment. They had definitely been coming from upstairs.

Peter! The thought of how badly I had hurt him tugged at me. At least I finally did the right thing and let him go. Perhaps if I hadn't wait so long I would have gotten the girl. Now it would seem that it was too late. There was a gentle knock on the door. I realized that the music was gone. I opened the door and found Allison smiling down at me. Suddenly I felt sick. Her face dropped at the sight of me. "Are you all right?" She asked tenderly.

"I'm fine." I lied. I noted that I was becoming very good at lying lately.

"Are you sure?" She questioned me in disbelief as she reached for my hand.

I jerked away from her violently. I could not bare the thought of her touching me. "I said that I'm fine." I snapped back bitterly. Her eyes widen in shock at my outburst. "Stephanie?" She whispered as she reached for me once again. I pulled away from her touch. "What is it?" She asked in a fearful voice.

"Look I just want to be alone right now." I flared. My heart skipped a beat as I saw the pain reflected in her eyes. "I broke up with Peter last night." I explained hoping that she would just leave.

"Is there anything I can do?" She offered. "Do you want to talk?" She reached out to me again and tried to step into the apartment. I blocked her way without allowing her to touch me. "How can she be so callus?"

"I just want to be alone right now." I repeated as I clenched my fists.

"Are you sure?" She asked with such sweetness that I almost believed her.

"Yes." I answered firmly.

"Well . . . all right then." She said hesitantly. "I'll be upstairs if you need anything." Reluctantly she turned from my doorway and walked away. I slammed the door behind her. I tried to hold myself together but it was useless. I sobbed and crawled into bed. In the past twenty-four hours I had probably cried more than I had my entire life. There was no stopping the tears. The pain seemed unbearable.

I hated myself for being so weak. I hated her for making me fall in love with her. With each tear that fell I whispered her name and asked myself 'why?' over and over again.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I know that the road to true love can sometimes be a rocky path. But this was ridiculous! Over the course of the next few weeks I felt as if I had lost all sense of reality. It all began on that first Monday. Allison had been very friendly that morning. She knocked on my door and offered me a cup of coffee and a ride to work. Since my emotions were still on edge and my ego was bruised despite the frigid temperatures outside I declined. Allison seemed hurt by my indifference. But I stuck to my guns. I had decided that mooning over Allison was not helping my situation any. It was time that I put some distance between us. Admittedly Allison had made every attempt to talk to me. This time I was the one who was putting up walls. I couldn't help myself. I was hurt. No matter how many times I reasoned that I had no claims on Allison and she was free to sleep with whomever she wanted to, I felt betrayed.

I also felt some confusion as to whether I had jumped into all of this far too quickly. Was being gay what I really wanted? Is this who I really am? Then I would look back on the women in my life and what I had shared with Allison and Gigi. This was the road I was meant to travel. Still at times I had my doubts. Then I would see Allison and I knew how my heart felt. If only she could feel the same for me.

Matters were not being helped any by little Courtney's constant visits at night. I suppressed my overwhelming desire to wipe that smug expression off of her cute little face. I had to remind myself that the little tramp was right. She was the one who had shared Allison's bed on Halloween and not me. I just kept distancing myself from Allison as much as I possibly could. No easy task since we shared an office and I lived downstairs from her. It didn't help that we also had a book to finish. We did manage to get some work done. At my insistence we only worked on it while we were on campus. I had no desire to find myself working late with Allison in her apartment. Now I only use my study in her apartment when Allison is not around. Her absences are becoming more and more frequent. I assumed that she had been spending her nights with Courtney. For the past week Allison would return home just before dawn clad in clothing from the previous day.

That first Thursday after Halloween I took a bold step and went to the Galaxy. I took the train into town and arrived very early. Since I was one of the first people to arrive I seated myself at Teresa Raven's bar. The place was deserted. I began to wonder if I was wasting my time. Teresa took pity on me and explained that the crowd didn't start coming in until at least eleven o'clock. This presented a slight problem. Even though Boston is a major city its public transportation system left a great deal to be desired. If I wanted to catch the last train back to Haven I would need to leave the nightclub no later than 11:30.

I told myself that it was just as well since I only wanted to check things out. As Teresa had promised the club began to fill up quickly just before eleven o'clock. I spent my time watching people dance. I even spotted a few of my students. "No wonder they are always tired on Friday mornings!" While I was watching the crowd a young girl with dark hair and thick black glasses approached me. She asked me to dance. I declined politely. She proceeded to offer to buy me a drink. I declined once again explaining that I would need to be leaving soon since I had a train to catch. She then offered me a ride. I smiled at her boldness and declined once again.

I stepped out into the freezing night air and walked to the T station. As I walked I was filled with mixed emotions. On the one hand I felt very much like an outsider. On the other hand the young girl's advances had made me feel less like a wallflower. I was positive that I could get the hang of this. There must be an easier way than this though? What was the proper etiquette for lesbian dating? If I was to move on with my life this was something I needed to find out.

It was after midnight when I returned to Haven. Upon approaching the house I could see Courtney's Volvo pulling away. It had been a rough week but I had survived. When I entered my apartment I was greeted by the light on my answering machine blinking. I checked the machine to find two messages waiting for me. The first was from Peter wanting to know how I was doing. He still sounded hurt as he stammered through his message. I needed to talk to him but not now.

The second message threw me for a loop. It was from Allison wanting to know if I wanted to have dinner with her. She also wanted to know if I was all right? I could not help but wonder if Courtney had been her plan B for the evening. It didn't matter. I needed to move on. Even though I vowed to remain strong I listened to Allison's message several times before I could erase it.

Another week passed in much the same fashion. I avoided Allison whenever she was around, which was not often. She was persistent though. She would always invite me to lunch or dinner. I declined politely enough explaining that I had far too much work to do. It pained me to say no but I felt I had no other option. That Thursday I returned to the Galaxy once again. I took the train in for the long journey into the city. With all of the transfers it could be confusing but I seemed to be getting the hang of changing from the green line to the red line. That night I found myself having a good time. The same girl with glasses asked me to dance once again. This time I turned her down directly. As I stood at Daisy's bar I watched some people shooting pool.

I was growing bored and a little tired when I decided that it was time to leave. I searched my pocket for my coat check ticket. "You won't find it in there." A voice came from behind me. I spun around to find myself looking at a very attractive blonde with dark brown eyes. "And what won't I find in there?" I played along relieved to find someone talking to me who was closer to my age. "My phone number." Her eyes lit up as she played with me. "Really?" I continued our game as I smiled up at the taller woman.

"Tell me something." I purred.

"Anything." She cooed.

"Does this line ever work for you?" I laughed.

"Never." She confessed brightly. "Rita." She introduced herself and offered her hand.

"Stephanie." I replied as I shook her hand warmly.

"So Stephanie should I try some more of my tired old all be it useless lines out on you?" She spoke gently as she leaned closer to me. "Or have you fallen madly in love with me already?" I laughed at her attempts. "Hmm it appears I still have to work my charms. Let's see so what's your sign?" I laughed harder at her antics. "Buy you a drink?" I laughed again. "Hey I was serious about that one." She said sweetly. "Could I buy you a drink?" She repeated this time with sincerity.

"I'm sorry thank you but I was just about to leave." I explained.

"No." She protested. "Not without dancing with me first." I offered no resistance as she escorted me out onto the dance floor.

Rita proved to be a fantastic dancer. I couldn't believe that I was dancing with another woman. It felt right. I finally felt as if I belonged. There was something about the way she moved her body that excited me. Granted it was nothing close to what I felt when I watched Allison. But it was a start. When we finished our dance she took me by the hand and led me back to Daisy's bar. We talked for a short while. I found that Rita was bright and intelligent and easy to talk to. She owned a small boutique on Newbury Street. She was everything I could want in a woman except for one small thing she wasn't Allison. "I could have just kicked myself!"

I looked at my watch and gasped realizing that I had lost track of the time. "I have to go." I blurted out suddenly.

"No." She pouted. "I thought I was just beginning to charm you."

"I have a train to catch." I explained.

"Oh." Her eyes widen. "I understand you don't want to get stuck in town. Before you dash off Cinderella could I call you?" She requested with a slight blush.

I was at a loss as to just what I should do. Before I could conjure up some lame excuse Daisy placed pen and paper on the bar in front of me. There was simply no way of declining her request without being rude. I quickly scrawled my phone number on the paper and made my exit. After retrieving my coat from the coat check I raced out of the club and down Mass. Ave. I dashed into the T stop and was lucky to catch the waiting red line train to Park Street Station. From there I made my transfer to the green line. This time I was not so fortunate. It seemed to take an eternity for the correct train to arrive. Once I arrived at North Station I raced across the staircases and out into the street and crossed over to the commuter rail. I quickly scanned the monitors hoping that my train to Haven was still there. I had missed it. "Now what?" There were two options available to me. I could call the only person I knew in Haven that might come and get me. Or I could thank the powers that be that I had the foresight to bring my credit card with me.

Calling Allison was out of the question. I had no doubt that she would come to my rescue. But I possessed no desire to call her and explain that I had been cruising women and missed my train. Plan B it was. Thank God for plastic. Upon exiting the taxi I was uncertain what hurt me more? Seeing Courtney drive away at this hour or the seventy-five dollar charge on my visa card. As I approached the house I felt my breath catch in my throat. There she was standing out on her balcony. She was a vision bathed in moonlight. I just stood there mesmerized watching her staring out into the darkness. I felt the tears caress my face as I watched her. "What are you thinking about Allison? What is it out there in the darkness that you find so captivating?" It was as if she had sensed my presence as she turned slowly and looked down upon the street to where I was standing. She smiled sadly and turned away and entered her apartment. As her image faded from view I regained the use of my legs and entered the house.

I had no recall of how long I had stood on that sidewalk watching her. I could not erase the image of her from my thoughts. I wanted to nothing more than race up to her apartment. To go to her to touch her. Somehow I resisted the temptation and showered before climbing into bed. I lay awake thinking of her until the sun came up.

The following evening Rita called and invited me to lunch on Saturday. I was about to decline her offer when something stopped me. It was the sound of Allison and Courtney laughing on the staircase. I accepted the date with Rita instantly. As I hung up the telephone I felt very proud of myself for taking the first steps to break free of Allison. Yet there was still something nagging at me. It was the tone of Rita's voice. It was so familiar. I had heard it many times over the past couple of weeks. It was the same tone Allison had used when she would invite me to dinner or lunch. Had Allison been asking me out on dates this entire time? That simply did not make any sense. Allison was seeing someone.

I decided that it didn't matter. Even if Allison had been asking me out, there was no way I was about to play second fiddle to some kid. But had she been asking me out? It was all very confusing. Maybe this was simply the way that lesbians spoke to each other. I was so new to all of this. One thing was apparent I had a great deal to learn. Perhaps the lovely Rita would be the one who could teach me?

Lunch with Rita was very nice. We met at a small cafe on Newbury Street. Rita apologized that she would be unable to stay very long since she was needed back at her shop. She hinted that perhaps we could go out dancing that night. We had a great time as we ate and talked. Everything was perfect except for one small thing. Although I found her attractive there was something missing. This time it wasn't simply who she wasn't. It was just that there was no spark between us. As I pondered this revelation Rita unexpectedly provided me with the answers I was seeking.

"Are you involved with someone?" She asked me suddenly.

"No." I answered truthfully. "But . . ."

"You're just getting over someone." She finished for me.

"How did you know?"

"Story of my life." Rita responded casually. "So what happened?"

"It's complicated." I replied with reluctance.

"Always is." Rita said gently. "I'm here to listen if you want."

"Okay you asked for it." I sighed. "First I need to explain that this is all very new to me."

"What?" She choked.

"It's true." I explained. "Up until a couple of weeks ago I had a boyfriend."

"Excuse me?" She choked again. "You're joking."

"No." I admitted quietly.

"I have to be honest." She began slowly. "Normally I like a challenge."

"But not first timers." I said.

"Watch out for the ones that are into that." Rita warned me. "And the woman who hurt you?"

"Oh well her." I sighed again. "I waited too long and now she is with someone else. Someone young and perky."

"Ouch." Rita groaned. "Then she is a fool. Stephanie I need to honest with you. Don't take this the wrong way it has nothing to due with your lack of experience. I find you very attractive but there is no . . ."

"Chemistry." I blurted out suddenly relieved. "I know I feel the same way."

"Too bad." Rita sighed. "We would have had great looking kids." She teased as I choked on my water.

"I'm sorry." I laughed. "But hey I survived my first date with a woman." I added hopefully.

"Here! Here!" Rita cheered as she toasted me with her glass of water. "Why don't we still go out dancing tonight? As friends." She added. "I hope that you will consider me a new friend?"

"I would like that." I responded. "I really don't know many people here in Boston. Or the community for that matter."

"Good it's settled then." She smiled back. "We'll go out tonight and scope chicks. I can drive you home so you won't need to worry about catching the train. "

"I would like that." I smiled. "Last time I missed my train."

"That must have cost a small fortune." Rita grimaced. "Well as your new friend I will drive you home anytime you need it unless of course one of us gets a better offer." She winked at the last comment. "I can show the ropes so to speak. I think this is great. There aren't that many women our age hanging out in the clubs. Most of them have settled down and are living in the suburbs."

"Is that supposed to cheer me up?" I teased.

I thanked her again and we talked for a while longer until she needed to return to her shop. We made plans to meet at the Galaxy later. I decided to take in the city until it was time for us to meet. I even enjoyed going on the duck tour and browsing through the local shops. Later that night we met up as planned. I was definitely on a roll that week. I met another woman named Josie and made plans to meet her the following morning to go roller blading along the Charles. Rita met someone as well but really wasn't interested. Rita drove me home refusing to take any money for gas. I dug out my roller blades and laid out suitable clothing for my date in the morning. Josie seemed nice enough but I felt deep down that we really weren't going to hit it off. I went to bed knowing that I would need to get up in a few hours and drive into town. Allison had left for New York that morning so I had the use of her car. I felt guilty about taking her car to go on a date with another woman. But not enough to endure the hell of public transportation on the weekend and this was the least of my problems with Allison.

*******************************************************

"I think that it is very important work." Josie explained enthusiastically.

"I don't understand." I shrugged as I tried to urge my roller blades to speed up so I could gain some distance from Josie. "What do you have against Regis?"

"That game show is the dumbification of America." Josie asserted.

"Dumbifiaction?" I questioned. "Is that a word?"

Josie just stared at me blankly. It would appear that Josie had 'issues' with the game show "Who wants to be a Millionaire?" I was not surprised at this point. It seemed that Josie had 'issues' with just about everything. Let's see there were her abandonment issues, her issues with her parents, she had issues with the government, the environment, Starbucks, and everything under the sun including M&M's. I was having a really problem with that one. In the twenty minuets since I met up with her and began our skate along the bike path that ran along the Charles River, Josie had explained in painful detail her 'issues'. If that wasn't enough to ruin my morning it seemed that she also belonged to every self-help group imaginable. Self-groups are admittedly important for the people who needed them. But Josie seemed to be a professional joiner.

"But couldn't you simply just not watch the show?" I argued. "I know I signed a petition when I heard that Dr. Laura was going to be aired here. But isn't the best way to stop a television show simply by not watching it. Don't they rely on ratings? Isn't that what we kept telling all of those uptight family value groups about Ellen? If you don't like it don't watch."

"Oh I don't own a television." Josie explained. "I have had a major issue with it since I came to the realization The Facts Of Life was an excuse to exploit Tootie."

"So how many people are in this Stop Regis Campaign?" I regrettable asked.

"Right now there is just me and Sharla." Josie beamed mistaking my question for interest. "We met in our WATI support group."

"WATI?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Women Against The Internet." She proclaimed proudly. "You do realize that this whole internet scam is just one more way that big brother can track us." She cautioned me. "You could meet with us if you like. We discuss the whole issue on line every Wednesday night. WATI has a great chat room set up."

"Chat room?" I spun around on my skates in shock. Unfortunately I should have paid more attention to my actions. I tripped over something and found myself lying on the bike path in agony.

After a short debate I allowed myself to be taken across the street to MGH (Massachusetts General Hospital). The emergency room was swamped. I gave the triage nurse all of my information while Josie remained glued to my side. I had to get rid of her. We were instructed to wait and I was given an ice pack for my knee. Josie fussed and fumed about the delay. I tried to reason with her as I pointed out that there were people in greater need of medical attention than I was. When she announced as loudly as she could that we were being made to wait because we were lesbians I wanted to climb under my chair. I wanted Josie to just go away. Gay, straight or indifferent Josie was just a really bad date. Finally we were shown to an exam room. I looked at the cotton Johnny. "Would you like me to help you with that" Josie offered. I simply shook my head sharply in refusal there was no way I was taking my clothes off in front of this woman. "I'm fine Josie. In fact why don't you get going. I'm sure that you have a meeting." I offered hoping she would take the hint and just go.

"Oh Baby." She offered softly. "I am not leaving your side. In fact I'm calling my Father's driver to come get us when this is over." With that announcement she whipped out her cell phone.

"I thought you weren't speaking to your parents?" I was dumbfounded.

"I'm not. But I have use of their driver which makes sense since I won't go see them to pick up my weekly check." Josie explained. "They just send the driver over with it to the town house they bought me."

"Excuse me?"

"Well I need it to get around to all of my meetings." Josie was so sincere and so delusional.

"Your parents support you?" I was at a complete loss.

"Of course I couldn't very well be expected to have a 'job' not with all of the important work I have to do!" Josie answered with a smile.

"Put that away." A very familiar alto voice commanded. I snapped my head around to see Nicole dressed in pale blue hospital scrubs and a long white lab coat with her hair pulled back in a French braid. "The cell phone." Nicole insisted. "Turn it off. Apparently you missed the signs hanging everywhere explaining the dangers of using a cell phone in a hospital. Now put it away before you kill someone." Reluctantly Josie complied as she gave Nicole an icy stare. Nicole was unaffected she simply smiled at me. "Miss. Grant I'm Dr. Kendell." She smiled.

"I'm Josie Stendorf. Stephanie's partner." Josie announced boldly.

"No you're not." I shouted. "This is our first date." I looked to Nicole for help. Suddenly I reached up and grabbed her by her lab coat and drew her down to me. "Make her go away. Please. She's crazy. Nicole she has issues." I pleaded. Nicole chuckled softly as she pulled herself away.

"Miss. Stendorf." Nicole began in a very professional tone. "I am very familiar with Stephanie and she needs to do this on her own." Josie opened her mouth to speak but Nicole quickly cut her off. "She has issues with privacy and apparently self assertion." At the last part she cast a glance in my direction. Turning back to Josie she touched her gently on the arm. "You understand that it is very important for her to do this on her own?" Josie's eyes widen with a sudden understanding.

"Oh yes of course." Josie leaned over me and patted my shoulder in sympathy. "Call me I have some groups that could help you."

And then Josie was finally gone for good I prayed. I breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay one scary date taken care of now let's take of you." Nicole smiled brightly. "First I need to ask you something . . ."

"I swear she seemed perfectly normal when she asked me out." I protested.

"That's not what I was going to ask you." Nicole laughed as she shook her head. "I was going to ask you if you would feel more comfortable with another physician?"

"No." I answered honestly.

"Good." Nicole smiled. "Now put on the johnny and I will be right back."

"But . . ." I began to protest.

"No buts." Nicole chastised me. "Put it on and I'll be right back."

"Rats." I grumbled.

Once I was clad in the flimsy hospital gown Nicole returned carrying a clipboard. "Okay what happened?" Nicole placed the clipboard down and put on a pair of rubber gloves. She gently removed the ice pack and began to examine my knee. "We were roller blading along the Charles when Josie said something stupid. It caught me off guard and I fell."

"Hmm." Nicole said thoughtfully. She opened the back of the hospital gown and examined my back and then took a quick look at my head. "Did you hit your head at all?"

"No."

"Lose consciousness at anytime?" She asked as she began to clean my knee with disinfectant.

"Ouch. No." I answered.

"Raise your leg." I obeyed. "Wiggle your toes." I followed her instructions. "Any nausea?"

"Nope."

"Dizziness?" She asked as she shined a penlight in my eyes.

"No."

She returned the light to the pocket of her coat and retrieved her clipboard. "Are you on any prescription or none prescription drugs? Any allergies?"

"No and no." I snarled.

"Did you drink any alcohol today?"

"Not yet."

Nicole chuckled at me. "All right. We're almost finished. It looks pretty superficial. We just need some x-rays just to be on the safe side."

"Oh man." I groaned.

"Just a precaution Stephanie." Nicole was very reassuring. "I need to ask before you go down and they will probably ask you again but is there any chance you could be pregnant?" I just rolled my eyes and stared at her in disbelief. "I have to ask." She explained.

"Well let's see in the past three months I have only come close to having sex with one person and although your sister claims to have many skills I doubt that is one of them." I teased causing Nicole to blush.

"I see." She cleared her throat. "I'll leave it to you to break the news to her on that one. Speaking of which . . ." I held my breath as I waited for her to finish her thought. "I can't tell anyone about this. As your doctor I cannot even mention that you where here. Not to my sister not to anyone. As a patient you have rights. So this entire afternoon is Entre Nous." I stared at her blankly. "Between us." She explained. "Anything you tell me is confidential. I just needed you to know that."

"I understand." I sighed with relief. "Fortunately there is nothing to tell. There is one thing I would like to ask you. When I was first hired by Haven, I started on their insurance plan. I don't really care for my doctor. He did a lot of unnecessary tests."

"He didn't cross the line did he?" Nicole questioned me the anger evident in her tone.

"No." I reassured her. "He just tested me for everything. Like a pregnancy test even though I had explained that I had my period twice since the last time I had sex. He also tested me for every STD under the sun. Which is fine but I have already had all of those tests. I didn't know if it was University policy or what?"

"No." Nicole explained flatly. "Who is your doctor?"

"Dr. Fink."

"Arthur Fink?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Okay off the record as your friend get another doctor. He is known for running tests just to pad his bills to the insurance company." Nicole explained. "Which is odd since he sucks as a diagnostician. Ally has the same HMO as you do. Her doctor is fabulous, Dr. Martha Chang she is who I would recommend."

"I tried to get her but she wasn't accepting any new patients." I explained. "I have always felt more comfortable with a woman."

"She has privileges here. I could talk to her if you like?" She offered as her pager went off she looked at it and scowled. "I'll see when you back from x-ray."

"Thanks Nicole."

When I returned from having my knee x-rayed from every possible angle I quickly got dressed and waited. Nicole finally returned. "Well it seems that all you have is a really big boo boo." Nicole smiled. "Just sign here and take these to the cashier and you are free to go."

"Thank God." I sighed as signed the paperwork and accepted my copies. "So is boo boo a technical term?"

"Absolutely." Nicole grinned. "You might want to put some ice on that knee when you get home. Speaking of which how are you getting home?"

"I have Allison's car." I explained guiltily.

"That's right she's in New York." Nicole added without missing a beat. "Well take it easy and I'll see you on Thanksgiving."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't tell she hasn't invited you?" Nicole groaned. I just shook my head in response. "Big dumb Amazon. Well I'm inviting you."

"Nicole I don't want to make your sister uncomfortable." I explained. "Things are more than a little tense between us." I also don't want to see her at a holiday gathering with her new girlfriend.

"Fine." Nicole conceded with a groan. "Oh by the way Thursday is . . ." Just then her pager went off again. "Damn." She cursed as she snatched up the offending object. "I have to go. We have a GSW coming in." She rushed off. Even I had seen enough episodes of ER to know that GSW was short for a gunshot wound.

After returning home I check on Mrs. Giavanni and ran her over to the local market for a few things. After putting away her groceries I joined her for a cup of tea. Finally I entered my apartment and collapsed on my futon thankful that the day was finally over.

********************************************************************

The following week proceeded in much the same fashion as the previous two. I talked to Rita about my date from hell omitting the part of running into Nicole. Rita just laughed at me. We made plans to go dancing at The Galaxy on Thursday. Even though there was no sexual tension between us I really enjoyed dancing with Rita. It was also nice to have someone to talk to.

I did receive a surprise on Tuesday when I walked into my office and discovered Allison sound asleep on the coach. Maureen walked in as I was standing there watching her sleep. She was covered in what appeared to be paperwork.

"Not again." Maureen scowled. "Allison wake up!"

Allison grumbled loudly as she shifted on the couch in an effort to raise herself up. As the tall woman lifted her body the books and papers that had been covering her toppled onto the floor. "Merde." She swore as she bent down to clean up the mess. I put down my briefcase and knelt down to help her. Maureen muttered something unintelligible as she stomped off.

"What is all of this?" I asked as gathered up her work.

"Just getting ready for midterms." She grumbled once again. "I finished the work on chapter ten as well. It's on your desk . . . I think."

Allison scratched her head aimlessly. It was more than obvious that Allison was not fully awake yet. "Why are you working here?" I asked.

"Tired of getting the cold shoulder." She muttered and suddenly snapped her head up and stared at me with surprised. "I'm sorry did I just say that out loud."

"Yes." I answered harshly.

"Forget I said anything." She tried to apologize. "Look I'm just trying to do the right thing here." She said quickly as she hurried to clean up her mess.

"I'll get this." I offered in confusion. "You'd better hurry home and shower." She stared at me helplessly. "Go on." I insisted.

Allison thanked me and rushed out of the room. Something was happening and I was completely clueless as to just what it was. Nothing seemed to making any sense. That night as I walked home I was determined to sit Allison down and have a very long talk with her. As I approached our house I discovered Courtney's Volvo parked out front. It appeared that there was nothing for Allison and I to discuss after all.

On Thursday morning I was greeted by yet another surprise as I entered my office. Allison's desk was covered with several arrangements of flowers. The office was empty and after a quick check into the hallway I dashed over to Allison's desk. As I peeked at the cards I asked myself once again "at what point does this become stalking?" There were roses from her parents, Iris' from Nicole and more roses from Chris. The cards all conveyed the same message. Today was Allison's birthday. That was what Nicole had meant to tell me at the hospital.

Without a second thought I made certain that the cards were all returned to their proper positions. I quickly dismissed the idea of tossing Chris' in the trash. I crossed back over to my own desk and snatched up the local directory and placed a call. I had a surprise of my own coming for Allison. Yes it was true that I was angry with Allison. But it was also true that my anger was born out of my feelings for her. I couldn't allow her birthday to pass without doing something. As I finished up my call I could here familiar footsteps approaching. I could tell by the self-assured stride that it was Allison. I quickly threw open my briefcase and pretended to be working.

Allison entered our office took one look at her desk and asked dryly. "Who died?" Her eyes suddenly widen as a snarl crossed her face. "Ah crap." She spit out as she dropped her briefcase. Just then Maureen bounced in waving a card around. "Happy Birthday!" She shouted joyfully. Allison simply groaned in response. "What?" Maureen laughed.

"I forgot." Allison said grimly.

"That's not like you." Maureen responded in surprise. "You usually live for this stuff?"

"I guess I'm just not in the mood this year." Allison said softly as she accepted the card and retrieved the briefcase. "Thanks for the card."

Just then Allison's telephone began to ring she rushed over to answer it as Maureen waved her goodbyes. "Professor Kendell." She spoke in her professional voice. "No . . . no . . . please Mother no! Don't sing!" Allison pleaded as she slumped into her chair and began to bang her head on her desk. "Please stop." She implored her Mother. "No not Dad too!"

I started to laugh as my telephone rang. "Dr. Grant." I greeted my caller with a chuckle.

"Well you seem to be in good spirits blondie." Nicole responded. "How's the knee?"

"Fine." I shouted over Allison's fussing.

"What the hell is going on there?" Nicole asked.

"Your parents are torturing your sister." I explained as Nicole laughed.

"Let me guess their singing?" Nicole laughed hysterically.

"From what I can gather." I chimed in.

"I guess this call is a bit late then. I forgot to tell you the other day." Nicole explained.

"No problem. I've got it covered." I explained.

"Good. I'm also calling to let you know that Dr. Chang has agreed to take you on as a patient. You'll need to set up an appointment with her. She is expecting your call." Nicole explained.

"Thank you Nicole." I said loudly to be heard over Allison's grousing. Unfortunately I said it a little too loud. Allison's head shot up over the cubicle wall and glared at me.

"Why is Nicole calling you?" Allison asked in desperation. "Not you Mom." She said into the receiver.

"None of your business." I teased. I could hear Nicole laughing on the other end.

"Stephanie." Allison growled and shot me one of her best intimidating scowls.

"Nice try." I teased.

"What?" She spoke into her telephone. "We work together." Allison explained. "No you can't talk to her. I have to go." Allison pleaded. "Thanks for the flowers Love to both of you." Allison ducked down long enough to hang up her telephone. Her head popped up and she glared down at me.

"So is she staring at you?" Nicole asked.

"Of course." I replied.

"Let me talk to her." Nicole sighed.

I stood and handed Allison the receiver. "Play nice." I warned her.

"Why are you calling Stephanie?" Allison snapped. "I am not old and cranky." I snorted at the comment. "Yes I got them their beautiful. Yes thank you. " Allison relaxed slightly. "So why are you bothering my co-workers?" Allison listened for a moment. "Why can't you tell me? What are you two conspiring?" Allison demanded as she glared at me. "Well if it's nothing then you can tell me. " Allison pushed. "Fine." Allison conceded. "Thanks again for the flowers. Talk to you soon Nikki." She handed the phone back to me and ducked back to her side of the office.

I hung up the telephone and began to chuckle. "You laugh?" Allison growled.

"What's the matter? Feeling old." I teased.

"Bite me." She snarled. I listened as she began to slam the drawers on her desk. I knew instantly what she was searching for.

"You threw them out." I sang cheerfully.

"I did." She groaned painfully. "Why would I do that?"

"Because you want to quit." I answered as I turned on my computer.

"Oh yeah." She sighed. "That must be why I threw out that pack I had hidden at home."

"When was the last time you smoked?" I asked as I logged on.

She paused for a brief moment before answering. "Halloween." I could tell by her tone of voice that she was telling the truth. "Good for you Allison. Now isn't this a great way to kick off a new year." I encouraged her.

"Manger moi." Allison muttered just loud enough for me to hear.

"Now why do I think that wasn't a thank you?" I retorted.

"No it wasn't. " Allison snorted in reply. "But I would certainly enjoy it."

I reached into to my briefcase and retrieved a book I had checked out of the library on one of my late night work sessions. I quickly flipped open the copy of Beginners French. "Now let's see." I spoke aloud as I flipped threw the pages. "Manger."

"What are you doing?" Allison gasped as she raced over to my desk. "Stop." She pleaded.

"Here it is." I smiled. "Manger means 'eat' and moi means 'me'. I see." I blushed as I spoke. "I must say you Harvard girls certainly have an elegant way of expressing yourselves. You know when it comes time to return this to the library, I might just go out and buy a copy. You just never know when it might come in handy."

"I . . . I . . .. I . . ." Allison stammered.

"Give it a rest Harvard." I laughed deciding to let her off the hook. "Since it's your birthday I'll let it slide." Allison sighed in relief. "Oh and thanks for the offer." I added with a wink. I doubted that I had ever seen anyone turn that particular shade of scarlet before.

For a brief moment it was as if the past few weeks hadn't happened. No sexual tension, just the two of us joking as friends. I had to admit it felt good. Allison returned to her side of the office and began working on her computer. I decided to check my email there was the usually University mailings. Some from my students regarding finals. There was also one from Peter. His made me slightly uneasy. He invited me to join him and his family for Thanksgiving dinner. Thanksgiving was one week from today, where had the time gone? I emailed Peter back and thanked him for his offer, but I had to decline since we were no longer together I wouldn't feel comfortable.

Seconds after sending my message I received a reply from him. It was very sweet and he invited me once again. I wrote back and used as much tact as I could muster and politely declined. There was no way I was going to get his or his family's hopes up by attending the holiday gathering. I would just spend the day alone. Maybe Allison would let me use her kitchen so I could cook something up for myself make a day of it.

"Stephanie?" Allison called out from behind the wall. "I need to drive down to The Cape this weekend so I can lock up my house in Provincetown. Would you like to join me? I could show you around P-Town." She offered hopefully.

"I . . . um . . . " I stammered. "Say yes you idiot!" I paused for a moment and I tried to think of what I should do. I wanted go. I really wanted to go. I was about to tell her yes when she spoke.

"Never mind." Allison offered grimly. "Forget I asked." She added with false cheerfulness. Then she strolled out of the office and went off to her morning class. Once I was certain that Allison was out of earshot I began banging my head on my desk and repeatedly calling myself a moron.

Later that day I found myself rushing towards Allison's classroom. It was her last class of the day and I knew that my surprise would be arriving soon. As I sped down the hallway I spotted my present strolling towards Allison's classroom. She was an attractive blonde, dressed in a tuxedo carrying an enormous bouquet of balloons. I followed her into the classroom and hid in the back. Ignoring the obvious stares from the students and instructor the woman strolled down the aisle and walked right up to Allison. Poor Allison looked like a deer caught by oncoming headlights.

"I'm here to wish you a very Happy Birthday, Professor Kendell." The blonde purred as she handed Allison the balloons. Then she did something that I had most definitely not requested she leaned over and kissed Allison on the cheek. The room exploded with hoots and hollers from the students. A chorus of Happy Birthday began as the blonde made her departure. I grabbed her by the arm and I spotted it instantly. She was gay, just my luck. "I didn't pay you to kiss her penguin." I growled menacingly into her ear. "I guess I just blew my tip?" She responded with a smirk. I just glared at her coldly and opened the door for her to leave. "Oh well it was worth it." She sighed and winked at me before making a hasty exit.

The students were just finishing their second chorus of Happy Birthday while Allison read the card attached to the balloons. She smiled sweetly. "All right enough!" Allison chastised them the smile never leaving her lips. "Thank you Dr. Grant." She offered without looking up at me. "You are most welcome Professor Kendell." I replied rather pleased with myself. "So you knew I was here." I thought to myself.

"I told you they were together." I heard one student whisper to another. I chuckled softly to myself at the thought that Allison and I were already part of the small town gossip mill. "Okay settle down everyone." Allison repeated over the chatter. "Now let's get back to reviewing for the midterm." The response was a collective groan from the students. Allison just shook her head and she looked up capturing me with her dazzling baby blues. "The hell with it." She announced. "There is only a few minutes left and it's my birthday. Go on get out of here." The classroom cheered as the students quickly gathered up their belongings. "If anyone has any questions just stop by my office during my posted hours." Allison added as her students quickly fled.

Allison was now sitting on her desk rubbing her eyes as I approached her. I gave her a playful nudge as I sat next to her. "Happy Birthday." I whispered softly.

"Thank you." She answered without meeting my eyes. "How did you know that I love balloons?"

"Because you are basically a really tall child." I teased her giving her another playful nudge.

"Aah, so you have uncovered my secret at last." She chuckled lightly still unable to look at me.

"I also noticed that you have a thing for white roses." I added.

"Champagne." She explained. "They are actually off white with a touch of pink on the tips of the petals. Those were from my parents and Chris. It's funny really, Chris couldn't remember to come home at night but she still remembers what my favorite flowers are. Women." She scrunched up her face in a mocking grimace.

"Tell me about it." I teased in return.

Allison barked a laugh and began playing with the balloons. "Hmm there are certainly a lot of them." She smiled absently. "Are you busy tonight, would you like to go out for dinner?" She added hesitantly.

"Yes." I responded quickly before I had a chance to think about it. Then I remember my plans with Rita. "Wait I have plans."

"It's okay." She sighed dejectedly.

"But it's you birthday." I protested.

"No worries. I have a ton of work to do anyways." She lied.

"Allison . . ." I began to protest.

"Stephanie really it's fine." She interrupted me. "Thank you again for the balloons." She added as she finally looked over at me.

Our eyes met. There it was. I suddenly began to understand why it was so hard for her to look into my eyes. I felt it instantly. That look! My knees felt weak and suddenly I couldn't breath. I leaned over to her and whispered, "Happy Birthday, Allison." Our faces were a mere breath apart. I looked at her full lips as I licked my own. I began to close the slight distance between us, giving into what my body and heart were crying out for. At the last moment I pulled away, as the image of Courtney flashed through my mind. This was killing me. "How could she have chosen that child over me?" I looked back towards her and my resistance instantly vanished, as I reached for her once again.

This time it was Allison who broke away suddenly. I was surprised at first then once I managed to catch my breath, I reminded myself that Allison already had someone in her life. Without looking at me she casually offered me a ride home. "Sure." I accepted her offer. "Good then you can grab the balloons." She teased me. It was a struggle to get all of the balloons into the car. "Why did I order so many?" I grunted as we fought to get them into the Subaru. "Because I'm cute." Allison pouted.

"No that's not it." I teased as I managed to get the back door closed. I watched as she continued to pout. "Nice try. Come on let's get your flowers." We returned to the office and gathered up the floral arrangements, and cards and the rest of our belongings. On the drive home neither of us spoke. I was secretly pleased with myself, for not mentally berating myself for my earlier actions. I knew that Allison felt it too. There was no need to beat myself up for making a pass at her. I had finally accepted that whatever was happening between us was not one sided.

CHAPTER TWELVE

When we returned home I brought the flowers upstairs to Allison's apartment, while she struggled to get the balloons out of the car. As I reached the porch I saw that Allison had managed to free the balloons safely. Mrs. Giavanni was standing there holding a pie as she wished Allison a Happy Birthday. "Hello Mrs. Giavanni." I greeted her. "These are beautiful Stephanie." Our landlady beamed as she pointed to the balloons. "That was so nice of you." She smiled. "Isn't she nice Allison?" Mrs. Giavanni pushed.

"I'll take the balloons, you can take the pie." I offered quickly.

"She's such a good girl." Mrs. Giavanni went on. "Not like that Chris."

"Tia Maria." Allison snapped suddenly and pulled Mrs. Giavanni aside.

I struggled with the balloons as they whispered to each other. Allison's slip had not escaped my notice. I placed the balloons in her living room and looked around. The one little slip had shed light on something that I had been curious about since I moved here. I turned as I heard Allison entering the apartment. "I didn't know that you spoke Italian?" I asked trying to maintain a casual tone of voice.

"I don't." Allison replied absently.

"Really?"

"Mrs. Giavanni may have taught me a word or two." Allison explained quickly. "Okay she's lying. Now do I confront her with my suspicions or do I just drop the whole thing? Go ahead it's been bugging you for months. The apartment, the way Allison dotes on her. The little clues piling up."

"The two of you must be very close." I began. "I don't know much Italian myself but I do know that Tia Maria translates into Aunt Mary." I tried to sound indifferent. "I think it is sweet the way that you look after her. You do her shopping, take care of her bills, you even tuck her in at night. Is that why she let you convert two apartments into one?"

"Ah . . . well it's complicated." Allison hedged.

"Allison are you my landlady?" I finally asked straight out. It wasn't the first time I suspected it. Allison was the one who called the repairmen and I saw her on more than one occasion writing a check for their services. I also noticed that the tax bills were addressed to Allison.

"I am not your landlady." Allison flatly denied.

"But you do own this house." I stated directly.

"Only on paper." Allison explained.

"And Mrs. Giavanni is your Aunt." Again it was not a question. "Why the big secret?"

"Because she's embarrassed." Allison explained. "When my Uncle Joseph passed away both houses were paid for, but there was the upkeep to contend with. Plus the taxes, water, sewage and on and on. It was too much for her now that she was living on one social security check. She hated to raise the rents because the tenants were like family to her. I finally got her to raise the rents but then she got sick and the cost of maintaining her own home. So I just . . ."

"Did what you always do." I added with a smile. "You stepped in and helped her. Just like you always have, like with your Grandfather's debts and your sister's drinking."

"What can I say it's the oldest child syndrome." She agreed.

"So that's why I got such a great deal on my rent?" I questioned her.

"It's not what you think." Allison explained quickly. "You were in a bind and I just wanted to help out. I did not have any hidden motives. I was just trying to be a friend."

"I know that." I scoffed at the implication. "You big dumb Amazon. You certainly have an interesting memory, if you recall I'm the one who keeps, I mean I was the one who kept trying to get you into bed not the other way around. You know the two of us have alot in common. Always trying to take care of everyone but ourselves. Always striving to succeed never considering failure as an option."

"It's true." Allison agreed. "Hey wait a second. Big dumb Amazon! Just what is going on with you and my baby sister?"

"Huh?"

"The two of you are up to something." Allison accused me.

"What?"

"Nicole is the only person who calls me that." Allison explained. "Then she calls you this morning, so give what are the two of you conspiring?"

"Nothing." I answered honestly.

"Then what gives?" Allison pushed not fully convinced of my innocence. "Why couldn't she tell me why she called you? If the two of aren't plotting something the only other reason she couldn't tell me would be if the call was for professional reasons . . ." Allison’s face went pale. "Stephanie is everything all right?"

"Yes." I groaned. "I'm fine and you're right her call this morning was a professional call of sorts." I watched as Allison began to tremble. "Get a hold of yourself. I fell while rollerblading last Sunday. I ended up in the ER at MGH; Nicole was the doctor who treated me. While I was there I expressed concerns with my present primary care physician and she arranged it so that Dr. Chang would take over as my doctor. That is all there is to it."

"But if that is all it was, then why didn't she just tell me?"

"Excuse me counselor?" I laughed. "I don't really need to explain the law to you, do I?"

"No. " She pouted and I had to admit she was damn cute when she did that. "Are you all right? Were you hurt?"

"There you go again. Taking on everyone else's problems. Allison I scrapped my knee that is it." I stated firmly and didn't feel the need to add that I wouldn't have sought out medical attention if my date hadn't been such a complete wacko.

"You're right." She sighed. "It was the same with Wainwright & Griggs and why I stayed with Chris as long as I did. The day I walked away from both of those situations was the first time I felt like I was doing something just for me."

"And you managed to walk away with your self respect. No small accomplishment." I added.

"Well almost." Allison chuckled at the admission. "I did throw Chris' clothes out the window before I left. It was childish I know, but it felt great."

I laughed at the image of the normally cool, calm and collected Allison hurling her lover's belongings out a window. "Allison about tonight." I began to say. "Don't worry about it." Allison cut me off. I took a deep breath and calmed myself before proceeding to talk to this stubborn woman. "I was just going to offer for you to join us." I replied.

"Us?" She questioned me with surprise.

"Rita and I." I explained. "We were just going dancing at The Galaxy. You and I could have dinner first and head into Cambridge." I suggested.

"The Galaxy on a Thursday with Rita?" Allison said absently as she processed the information. "I don't know, I would hate to feel like a third wheel."

"You wouldn't be." I said quickly hoping to extinguish her fears. Judging by her stunned expression I was failing miserably. "Look Rita and I did go out once but there was no chemistry between us." "Not like with you."

"Does Rita know this?" She questioned me harshly.

"Yes." I strongly answered her accusation. "We talked about it and now we are just friends. We go out dancing together and scope chicks."

"Excuse me?" Allison roared with laughter. "You have been busy during my absence haven't you?"

"I need to start living my life." I answered honestly.

"And so you have." Allison conceded quietly.

"Well I see that Aunt Mary still hates me." A sultry voice boomed from the doorway. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for the sight I found standing in the doorway. She was as tall as Allison with a well-toned and very beautiful body. Not to mention long sandy brown hair and legs that went on for days. My mouth just hung open overwhelming by her presence. "Can you blame her?" Allison responded dryly to the woman. "What are you doing here, Chris?" Allison questioned her suspiciously.

"Ally, it's your birthday." I cringed at the familiarity in which Chris addressed Allison. "You sounded a little down on the phone." She smiled at Allison as her eyes scanned her body. "Besides it's raining in New York."

"Well it's not raining here." Allison shot back smugly.

"Pity." Chris drawled as she continued to stare at Allison with a lecherous leer.

Allison just returned her gaze with an icy stare. I wanted to waltz over to Chris and wipe that smug expression off of her face. But judging by the size of Chris and my own shortcomings I assumed that she could probably hurt me. I opted for plan B and cleared my throat very loudly in an attempt to end their staring contest. Chris turned to me and captured my gaze with lustful hazel eyes. "Well hi there." She purred.

"Chris!" Allison snapped harshly.

"Hmm?" Chris hummed as her eyes scanned my body.

"Chris. No!" Allison commanded her. There was something in her tone of voice that reminded me of someone trying to train a naughty puppy. I would not have been surprised to hear Allison command her to sit or fetch.

"Sorry." Chris apologized to Allison. "Hi I'm Chris." She directed towards me in a much more civil manner as she offered me her hand.

"Stephanie Grant." I answered as I returned her strong handshake.

A single thought ran threw my mind as she released my hand. "Wow!" Chris then removed her overcoat and I was impressed all over again. The woman was clad in a tight pair of black leather pants and a mid cut black tank top, which slightly exposed her well-defined abs. And once again I thought. "Wow! My God when they were a couple they must have been the poster girls for drop dead gorgeous lesbians."

"This isn't very nice of you Ally." Chris' deep voice cooed. "I flew all the way up here because I was afraid that you were going to be all alone on your birthday. And here I find you all cozy with this cute little thing. Now why didn't you tell me that you were seeing someone?"

"I'm not seeing anyone." Allison stated firmly.

"Why was she lying?" Then it hit me, just where was little Courtney anyway? It wasn't like her to pass up an opportunity like Allison's birthday. Clever thing that she was must have known that it would allow her to one up me yet again. There was something missing here. From the tone of Allison's voice I knew that she was telling the truth. Could it be that Courtney was finally out of the picture? My heart did a double back flip at the very idea, that Courtney had been given the heave ho.

"Really?" Chris responded coyly to Allison's denial as she allowed her eyes to wander over my body. Without thinking about my actions I took a step towards Allison. Protectively she moved in front of me and held a cautioning hand up towards her ex-lover.

"Chris behave." Allison warned once again.

"Make up your mind Allison." Chris teased her. "If she's not yours then she's fair game."

"Hey!" I piped up suddenly insulted that I was being treated like a first prize in a turkey shoot.

"Chris I'm warning you behave." Allison growled. Chris threw up her hands in a mock surrender.

"I see you brought your briefcase." Allison noted. "Is that my present a night pouring over old case files?"

"You seem surprised?" Chris laughed. "Hey what can I say? I thought we could slip some work in and I could bill the firm for my hours and the flight up here. I also thought we might slip something else in but I guess that's out the question now." She looked directly at me with an accusing stare. "Sorry to ruin your plans Stud." I thought with self-satisfaction.

"Some things never change." Allison muttered as she headed off for the kitchen.

I found myself left alone with Allison's larger than life ex-lover. Chris was once again eyeing me up and down. This time however there was nothing lustful in her gaze. This time I felt as if she was sizing me up the way a fighter would size up their opponent. "Nice balloons." Chris called nonchalantly out to Allison.

"Thank you. They are a gift from Stephanie." Allison answered brightly from the kitchen.

"Very nice." Chris offered to me in a congratulatory tone. "Relax kid." She smiled at me. "Despite what you must have heard about me from Ally's friends and neighbors I am not the devil herself. A close relation perhaps." She teased and smiled warmly and patted me gently on the arm. "Hey I was in love with her and I will always be jealous of anyone that is special to her. Trust me I don't bite." She whispered to me in a friendly manner. I sighed with relief, as I understood what she had been doing. Chris had flirted with me to see how Allison would react. Then she made an attempt to scare me off. "Juries must just fall at this woman's feet."

"So has Allison told you that I'm a womanizing jerk yet?" She questioned me loudly. I stood there with my mouth hanging open; uncertain as how I could respond to her statement. Chris ignored my discomfort and made herself at home by plopping down on the sofa. "Oh course I did." Allison answered brightly as she returned from the kitchen with a tray of coffee cups.

"Don't worry Stephanie." Chris reassured me. "We can finally joke about it now. I was a jerk and I lost her. No one to blame but myself. But you didn't have to tossed my entire wardrobe out the fifth floor window."

"You deserved it." Allison said bluntly.

"True." Chris admitted. "But my best Donna Karen did not."

"Speaking of clothes Stephanie found one of your T-shirts." Allison said as she placed the coffee cups on the table and motioned for me to join them. I took a seat at the far end of the sofa and accepted the mug of black coffee she offered to me.

"Which one?" Chris asked her enthusiastically as she reached for her coffee.

"Hold on." Allison spoke as she retreated into her bedroom, returning quickly with the black t-shirt with the words 'Obey Me' printed across the front. Allison tossed it to Chris, who snatched up the garment happily. "I knew you took this you fink." She smirked. "Wait a second. What do you mean Stephanie found it? What's the deal with the two of you anyway?"

I couldn't help but blush at her question as I recalled the night I first seen the t-shirt. I turned to Allison for help only to find her blushing as well. "Uh huh." Was Chris' only response. Allison in typical fashion shut her eyes and began to rub them. "Ugh. Don't you just hate that?" Chris groaned as she looked directly at me.

"As a matter of fact I do." I confessed.

"What?" Allison snapped as she glared at the both of us.

"That whole shutting the world out thing." Chris explained bitterly. "It's like if you shut your eyes to the situation it will just go away. It used to drive me insane. Oh and what about her morning concerts?" Chris directed her question towards me.

"I kind of like that." I answered with a smile.

"What?" Chris snorted. "How could anyone enjoy having their living room turned into Woodstock every morning?"

"I still enjoy it, but then again I don't live here." I explained.

"I see." Chris said slyly. "Then how pray tell do you know about her seven am concerts?"

"Because my apartment is directly below this one." I explained hoping to nip her suspicions in the bud.

"How convenient" Chris purred. "Is that how you two gals met?"

"No." I was losing ground fast and Allison appeared to have been stricken mute. "We work together." I offered lamely.

"Hey so your a history Professor as well?" Chris sounded genuinely interested.

"Actually I'm a PHD." I corrected her without boasting.

"So it's Dr. Grant then." Chris complimented me. "Hey that means she out ranks you Allison."

"Whatever." Allison grumbled.

"I'm hungry." Chris announced. "So are you going to allow me to take the two of you out to dinner?"

"Stephanie has plans." Allison blurted out quickly.

"Not until ten o'clock." I spoke up. "I'm meeting a friend at The Galaxy for some dancing." I explained to Chris. "I was just trying to coax the birthday girl into joining us when you arrived."

"Dinner and dancing, now that sounds like a plan." Chris accepted eagerly. "Great idea. Why don't you gals go get changed. We can eat at that Mexican restaurant that Allison is so found of. If I remember correctly it isn't too far from the club."

"I don't know." Allison hesitated.

"I know, tequila." Chris teased her.

"Horny and stupid." I added with a laugh. Chris joined in on the laughter as Allison turned her back on us.

"Allison is there a problem?" Chris questioned her in a serious tone.

"No." Allison muttered as she turned back to us.

"Then lighten up." Chris pushed. "It's your birthday and two beautiful women want to take you out on the town. I should be so lucky."

"Fine, I'll get ready." Allison gave in and stomped off into her bedroom.

I excused myself and followed Allison into the bedroom. "Are you okay with this?" I asked her quietly.

"Yes." Allison answered softly. "I really wanted to have dinner with you tonight. It's just that Chris can be somewhat of a steamroller at times."

"I've noticed." I answered. "She isn't what I expected. I actually like her."

"I told you that Chris gets a bad rap." Allison agreed.

"Well I think she is very nice." I admitted. "She's also very . . ."

"Attractive." Allison finished for me. "Yes, Chris is a beautiful woman. Unfortunately Chris is all too aware of that fact herself."

"Hey what's with the sad look?"

"Nothing." Allison pouted.

"Allison I am not interested in your ex." I explained sensing that my early comment might have made her uncomfortable.

"Am I really that easy to read?"

"Sometimes, yes you are." I answered with a smile.

"I didn't like the way she was flirting with you." Allison confessed.

"That's why she did it."

"Huh?"

"Forget it." I sighed. "Get dressed so we can take you out for your birthday. Don't forget it's your night so anything you want . . ."

"Anything?" She asked as she licked her lips. It was far too tempting to resist. I stepped closer to her and leaned into her firm body.

"Anything." I answered seductively. "What is your wish birthday girl?"

"Just this." Allison replied as she lowered her lips to capture my own. The kiss quickly deepened as I felt her tongue brush against my lips. Instinctively I parted my lips and allowed her to enter my mouth. I moaned as our tongues danced together. I could feel my body being lowered onto her bed. "Hey what's taking you two so long?" Chris shouted from the living room. We groaned in unison as we broke apart and climbed off of the bed.

I stomped off without looking at Allison. A part of me simply wanted to rip Chris' head off. Instead I muttered something about being back soon. I went downstairs and caught my breath after entering my apartment. I showered quickly. I pulled on a new pair of black jeans as I tried to forget what had occurred in Allison's bedroom. I then put on a new silk camisole that matched my teal silk blouse that I purchased recently. I looked good I told myself as I check myself one last time in the bathroom mirror.

I raced back upstairs eager to see Allison. I was just about to open when the door when I heard shouting coming from within. "Why not?" Chris asked anxiously.

"It's complicated." Allison answered in exasperation.

"Allison, not again." Chris chastised her. "It's always something, isn't? Stop being such a coward."

"Did you fly all the way up here, just to give me a lecture?" Allison argued with her.

I decided that my newfound hobby of eavesdropping needed to come to an end, I knocked on the door and entered quickly. I felt my breathing halt suddenly. Allison had changed into a pair of faded blue jeans and a white tank top. She was standing with her back to me. There was something about the sight of this woman's backside wrapped in well -worn denim that was my undoing. I shifted my gaze from her well-defined butt only to find myself drooling over her the sight of her back. I flushed as I leered at her back. It didn't help matters that I was thinking about the kiss we had shared earlier. "This is going to be a long night."

I was relieved as Allison put on a black men's blazer. Now I could make it through the evening without staring at her back like some lecher. "Hi." Allison said as she turned to me. "You look great." She said as a slight blush crept across her normally dark complexion.

"Back at you." I answered as I noticed how absolutely adorable she looked.

Unfortunately I was not the only one who noticed. Chris stood up and quickly moved beside and adjusted the collar on her jacket. Then she gently caressed Allison's face. "You look beautiful." She whispered sweetly and as I clenched my fists in anger. "Thanks." Allison muttered as she took a slight step away from Chris. I looked at the two of them standing next to each other. My early bravado vanished. Suddenly I felt like one of the ugly stepsisters from Cinderella.

Pitifully I slumped down onto the sofa and wished that I could simply disappear. I looked at the coffee table that was now covered with a stack of papers. Something caught my eye, it was a date. One that was all too familiar to me. Chris crossed quickly over and began to gather up the papers. "Chris it doesn't matter." Allison stated abruptly. "I trust Stephanie." My heart warmed slightly with her declaration. Granted she wasn't pledging her undying love to me but it was a nice gesture just the same.

"Are you certain?" Chris questioned her in a very professional manner. "No offense Stephanie." She added half heartedly as she shoved the papers into her briefcase and snapped it shut. Chris then crossed back over to Allison and touched her gently on the arm.

"None taken" I said honestly as I understood completely that she was only doing her job. "I understand." Truth be told I didn't care if Chris out and out accused me of spying, hell she could of accused me of kidnapping the Lindberg baby . . . just as long as she stopped touching Allison. "Chris, I've nothing to hide from Stephanie." Allison added in a harsh tone as she once again stepped away from Chris' grasp. "I've been accused of bribing a jurist." Allison explained to me.

"What?" I gasped.

"Allison!" Chris cautioned her.

"Let it go Chris." Allison warned her.

"All right." Chris grumbled.

"Allison?" I voiced my concern over the seriousness of the situation.

"Don't worry they can't touch her." Chris added in a serious tone. "First off the statue of limitations has run out."

"No." Allison cut in. "First off I didn't do this."

"I know." Chris reassured her.

I realized at that moment despite some of her personal short fallings Chris was a very good lawyer. Watching the way she handled herself when she wasn't flirting, Chris proved to be quite an impressive figure. This woman could sell ice to an Eskimo. Of course there was one little problem with Chris, and that was Allison. I hated the ease between the two. The little intimacies that showed that they had once been a couple. I knew it was a fact of life, just the same it worked my nerves.

"So then why are they bothering with this?" I asked in hopes of drawing out Chris' instincts as a lawyer. Perhaps that would keep her from touching Allison.

"The ADA is using the RICO stature. He is claiming that the firm was involved in a string of illegal activities." Chris answered as she approached me. My plan was working. "If he can prove this then he can turn it into a federal case. But his case is falling apart. We've managed to clear away most of the charges. With the exception of the one against Allison."

"If that is the case then how is he hoping to prosecute Allison?" I questioned. "RICO implies an ongoing racketeering case. Right? If the other charges have been dropped, and the statue of limitations of bribery has expired he cannot bring charges against Allison."

"Very good." Chris answered. "That's true but Allison won't allow me to go to a judge and have the case dismissed."

"I'm not going to have people think that I did this." Allison fumed. "Chris you know as well as I do that people will always assume that I'm guilty and I simply used my name to get out of it. Plus I could still be disbarred. That would kill me parents. I need to prove my innocence."

"It's a mute point Allison." Chris shot back. "He can't proceed with it."

"I didn't do this!" Allison responded angrily. "Hell I didn't have to. That case was garbage. Even if it wasn't I would never break the law. My name is on the line and I'm not letting Simon Brenner drag it through the mud!"

"That's really what this is all about isn't!" Chris shot back.

"Who is Simon Brenner?" I asked innocently.

"Jessica Beaumont's husband." Allison explained bitterly.

"Well I guess you two really don't have any secrets." Chris smirked. "I think it's personal for him."

"It's not like he knew." Allison said with disgust.

"Not about her." Chris began slowly. "But every time you went up against Simon in court you made a fool out of him."

"So I'm petty." Allison sighed. "But I never broke the law."

"You do have an alibi for the night of the twenty second." Chris pointed out. "That alone could end this. I mean if this bozo is lying about one of the dates it casts a doubt on the rest of his story."

"I can't use Higgins." Allison groan in desperation. "I've already explained that to you. If the judge or Brenner questions him about what we were doing together he'll have to perjure himself."

"So?" Chris shot back.

"Counselor may I remind you that suborning perjured testimony is a crime." Allison shot back. "I can't go to a judge and tell the truth about what I was doing with Higgins. Somehow I don't think that telling a judge that I couldn't have possibly been bribing a juror on that day since I was busy committing a different crime would help my cause any."

"Excuse me?" I questioned her.

"Higgins is a professional deprogrammer." Allison explained. "I was meeting with him all day and night making plans to have my brother snatched from the cult he joined."

"Isn't it an alibi?" I asked confused by how that would be a bad thing.

"It's also kidnapping." Allison replied grimly.

"I guess I never looked at it that way." I sighed. "I suppose legally trying to save someone from a bad situation doesn't count if they are there by choice. I could help you."

"That's sweet but only the truth can help me." Allison smiled as she answered me.

"I can help you." I repeated. "And I can do it without lying." Allison and Chris looked at me strangely. "I couldn't help but notice the dates written on one of the sheets of paper. One of them caught my eye. On the twenty sixth of August 1989 you were standing on the sidewalk in front of your office building yelling at me."

"What?" Allison gasped.

"What time was that?" Chris asked with enthusiasm.

"I don't know the exact time." I explained. "But I distinctly recall that I caught the six twenty train back to New Haven."

"How can you be so certain about the date?" Chris pushed in full lawyer mode.

"How could I forget, it was my birthday and I was in tears." I answered honestly. I had never intended of letting Allison know that her actions that had hurt me so deeply happened on my birthday. But if telling her helped her out of this mess, I had to do it.

"You made her cry?" Chris shot out at Allison. "Hey this helps." She said suddenly. "Your secretary has you leaving the building at five fifteen and your time prior to that is accounted for. It isn't enough but it defiantly closes the gap. Stephanie would you be willing to give a deposition?"

"Of course." I answered without a second thought. I looked over at Allison and was surprised to see the sullen expression on her face.

"Great." Chris was almost cheering with joy. "Now if we could just figure out where you were for the rest of that evening and the following one this will all be over."

"I was probably with you." Allison muttered. "She's lying." I thought to myself.

"No you weren't." Chris answered with her professional tone. "I've already checked my old appointment books. And we did not start seeing each other until the following week."

"I can't believe I made you cry on your birthday." Allison groaned. "God I'm such an ass."

"Allison it was over ten years ago." I groaned. "Let it go. Speaking of birthday's this is no way to spend yours. You have been promised dinner and dancing now let's get going. The only legal talk I want to hear for the rest of the evening is whether or not we should risk parking in a tow zone got it!"

"Fine by me." Chris agreed. "But in light of this new information dinner is definitely on Wainwright & Griggs."

As we gathered our coats I caught Allison smiling out of the corner of my eye. I let Chris exit the apartment ahead of us. I quickly pulled Allison aside. "And just what are you smiling at?" I asked her.

"I remember." Allison spoke softly forcing me to lean in to hear her words. "Not everything mind you but I remember you. I was supposed to meet Nikki or so I thought. When I found out my meeting was with some kid working on her thesis I was furious. I remember you standing on that sidewalk in faded blue jeans and a Yale jacket that was far too big for you. I remember your long strawberry blonde hair, it seemed to glow in the sunlight. I also remembering thinking that I thought you looked incredibly hot and if only I wasn't involved."

"What?" Now I was confused. "Chris just said that the two of you weren't together yet?"

"Oh right." Allison answered a shade too quickly. "Maybe I don't remember everything. If I could I wouldn't be in this mess."

"Uh huh." I grunted as I wondered why she was lying? "I was still hot though?" I teased.

"Oh yeah." Allison answered with deep sigh.

Chris began to call for us to hurry up. As I began to descend the staircase I heard Allison whispering. "You still are." I spun around quickly causing her face to turn a deep shade of crimson. "Good." I retorted with a wink and turned away from her and headed down the staircase before she could see the blush racing across my face.

Allison drove us to The Church Street Cafe, Amy was once again tending bar. I was more than pleased to find her behavior much more professional this time. Of course after the last time I doubt that she would still consider Allison being swayed by her charms. Chris on the other hand flirted with the girl outrageously. This made me very happy. During dinner I limited myself to just one margarita, with Chris' encouragement Allison had three and was just a little tipsy. At the end of the meal the waiters sang Happy Birthday to Allison as the entire restaurant cheered. When we left the restaurant I insisted on driving.

We arrived at The Galaxy a little after ten and I checked our coats quickly. I found Allison and Chris seated at Teresa's bar ordering another round of drinks. I opted for spring water. I searched the crowd and quickly found Rita. As I crossed the room to greet her, I glanced back at the bar to find Chris caressing Allison's shoulder. Then she bent down and whispered something in her ear, which caused Allison to laugh brightly.

I just stood there watching them feeling like an idiot. It wasn't until I felt a hand touching my shoulder that I stopped staring. I spun around and found Rita smiling at me. "There you are." She exclaimed. "I was beginning to think that I had been stood up."

"Sorry I'm late. I had dinner with one of my colleagues for her birthday." I explained. "I hope you don't mind but I invited her and an old friend of hers to join us."

"The more the merrier." Rita answered. "Is she cute?"

"She's . . . beyond words." I answered absently.

"Uh Huh." Rita responded.

"Come on I'll introduce you." I took Rita by the arm and led her back towards Allison and Chris.

As we approached the giggling duo Rita's jaw dropped. "Allison?" She exclaimed cheerfully.

"Rita." Allison responded and greeted her with a warm hug. "This day was just getting worse and worse. Maybe there's a hole around here I could crawl into."

"Rita this is Chris." Allison made the introduction. "Rita and I were at Wellesly together." Allison explained to both Chris and I.

"I hear that it's your birthday, Allison." Rita gushed. "That calls for a round of drinks." Rita waved Teresa over and ordered a round of margaritas. I politely declined explaining that someone had to drive. As I listened to them chatter about the old days, I was suddenly the odd woman out again.

"Do you remember that time during finals?" Rita asked Allison. "What was it freshman year?"

"Sophomore." Allison corrected her.

"God you really shocked everyone." Rita laughed.

"Oh please our dormitory floor was the queerest on campus." Allison scoffed.

"You two are not going to believe what the prim and proper Miss Kendell did." Rita began to explain as Allison began to blush. "It was during finals and everyone was so stressed. So Allison in her infinite wisdom decided to relieve the tension as it were. So she streaked down the hallway screaming 'come out come out where ever you are!'"

"Streaked?" Chris leered. "Do you mean that you. . .?"

"Yes. I ran buck naked down the hallway." Allison laughed. "Hey I was nineteen." She added defensively.

"Well it certainly lifted everyone's spirits." Rita added.

"I bet it did." Chris answered as she lick her lips.

I thought I was going to be sick. Just then Rita touched me on the arm. "I can hear that new Cher song playing in the other room, let's dance." She asked me sweetly.

"I'll go." Chris offered quickly.

"Maybe later." Rita said coolly. "Stephanie owes me a dance." Rita dragged me off before I could respond.

Much to my surprise Rita dragged me into the lounge instead of the front dance room. "Allison Kendell?" She asked quickly. I just stared at her blankly. "Allison Kendell?" She repeated. I was still at a loss. "Stephanie is she the one that you were telling me about?"

"Yes." I admitted reluctantly.

"I knew it. I could tell by that goofy look on your face." Rita said.

"Hey?" I shot back indignantly.

"I'm confused." Rita blurted out.

"Why are you confused?" I asked in bewilderment. "I'm not the one speaking in code."

"First I need to explain a few things to you." Rita started. "Years ago there was this women's bar in the financial district called Somewhere Else. It burnt down a long time ago. But in it's hey day Allison's reputation would walk in about ten minutes before she did."

"Great." I muttered.

"Relax." Rita tried to reassure me. "That was a long time ago. Personally I think that a lot of women lied about being with her. But once she got into Harvard her only interests were in her studies. Then she went off to New York and left a string of broken hearts behind her."

"I know all of this." I butted in. "New York was where she met Chris and Jessica. New York where she had a life long before she ever laid eyes on my sorry ass." My pity party seemed to be in full swing.

"What you don't know is that since she came back to Boston, that everyone and I do mean everyone and their sister has been trying to get up close and personal with her. I mean she's beautiful, successful and rich. Allison is quite the catch."

"Is this supposed to be cheering me up?" I groused.

"Yes." Rita answered with a cocky smirk. "You told me that you were trying to get over someone that was involved."

"That's because she is or was, I'm not really sure anymore." I tried to explain.

"No she's not." Rita argued. "And she certainly wouldn't take Chris back."

"I know that." I snapped. "She is seeing this youngster named . . ."

"Courtney." Rita cut me off. "A little brunette about yeh tall." She held her hand up at the appropriate height. "A little too perky for her own good." Rita added.

"That's her."

"They are not together." Rita asserted strongly. "They had one date and Allison shot her down."

"What are you talking about I've seen her leaving Allison's apartment?"

"Stephanie I ran into Courtney around the beginning of the month and she was with someone else. Not only that she was bitching about how all she got from the high and mighty Miss. Kendell was the cold shoulder."

"I don't understand?" I exclaimed in frustration.

"Don't you?" Rita retorted. "Courtney set you up, so she could keep you away from Allison. Stephanie trust me on this, if Allison Kendell had a girlfriend I would have heard something."

"How?"

"Stephanie sweetie, Boston maybe a big city but in many way it is a very small town." Rita explained. "I'll prove it to you. Chris is Allison's ex-lover. They lived together in New York for a couple of years. They met while working at the same law firm. They split up because Chris was cheating on her. Allison caught her in the act when she came home unexpectedly one night."

"Okay that is spooky." I gasped.

"Not really." Rita answered. "When Allison blew back into town who do you think were the people she called first?"

"Her old college friends." I smacked myself mentally at the sudden realization.

"Of course." Rita affirmed. "That is half the point of attending the colleges that we did, the connections. Allison came home and was forced to start all over again. Being the bright girl that she is she called on her old cronies to help her get re-established. Both socially and professionally."

"Then why is Courtney at her apartment constantly?" I asked absently as I tried to piece together the events of the past few weeks.

"You're not spying on her are you?" Rita questioned me cautiously.

"No, of course not." I answered quickly understanding Rita's concerns. "I live in the apartment below her."

"Convenient." Rita said with sly look.

"For all the good it does me." I grumbled.

"Stephanie trust me on this, Allison is single." Rita reassured me with a slight squeeze on my shoulder. "Hey think about it. If there was someone special in her life right now, then why aren't they here on her birthday?"

"This is driving me insane." I growled. "None of this makes any sense. Come on let's dance before my head explodes."

Rita just laughed and led me out onto the dance floor. I was enjoying dancing with Rita, happy to be lost in some pleasant thoughts. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of a very startling sight. Allison and Chris were dancing together. It pained me to admit it but they looked good together. They moved in perfect harmony with each other. Why wouldn't they? After all they use to be lovers. I wasn't the only one who noticed the two. Men and women alike were staring openly at the attractive couple. "How could I compete with that? Maybe I don't have to. Think about it girl, remember earlier tonight in Allison's bedroom."

I continued dancing with Rita and tried to relax but thoughts of the kiss that Allison and I had shared earlier kept running through my mind. I lost sight of Allison and Chris. Unaware that I was ignoring Rita I kept searching for them. "Come on." Rita finally groaned as she grasped my hand and led me off of the dance floor. "God you've got it bad girl." She groaned as she dragged me over to Daisy's bar and order us a couple woo woo shots. I downed mine quickly without even thinking. The liquor tasted so sweet it was hard to believe that there was alcohol in it. "I can't leave you alone for a minute can I?" A soft contralto voice whispered in my ear as two familiar hands caressed my shoulders.

I leaned back into Allison's body. I looked over to Rita grinning and Chris scowling. "Does anyone want another drink?" Chris offered with a hint of harshness to her voice. I waved off her offer as Allison wrapped her arms around my waist. "Just a Poland Springs." Allison said. "I think I need to sober up a little."

"I'll have another one." Rita smiled up at Chris.

Chris returned Rita's smile and ordered their drinks. "Oh no." Rita groaned as she accepted her drink from Chris. We all looked at her oddly. "What is it?" I asked.

"Issue girl at twelve o'clock and she is heading this way." Rita sighed.

"No, tell me that you're joking." I dropped my head knowing it was true.

"Sorry Stephanie." Rita apologized. "And she's already seen you."

"Allison would you do me a favor?" I asked as I looked up into a pair of very confused blue eyes.

"Anything." She answered honestly.

"Kill me now." I groaned.

"Huh?" Allison pulled me closer and shook her head.

"Who is issue girl?" Chris asked.

"Stephanie's date from hell." Rita tried to explain as I felt Allison stiffen from behind me.

"You mean the good looking woman heading this way?" Chris asked. "What is wrong with her?"

"She's not that good looking." I heard Allison muttered as she turned to see Josie.

"She has issues." I said bluntly.

"Oh." Allison and Chris groaned in unison. "But still, she is good looking and everyone has baggage." Chris was grasping at straws. "With Regis Philbin? With M&M's, the internet and television?" I tried to explain.

"Now that's just unAmerican." Allison snorted.

"Stephanie?" Josie called out to me in an accusing tone.

"Hi." I answered dryly. I could feel Allison pulling me closer to her in a protective manner.

"Sweetheart, I have been so worried about you." Josie went on ignoring Allison's growl. "It was all I could talk about in therapy this week. I must say I'm surprised that you didn't call me."

"Josie, I'm sorry but it was just one date." I explained.

"We have a connection Stephanie." Josie went on. "If it wasn't for that idiot doctor in the emergency room." She huffed as I tensed. "I have real issues with her."

"You're not talking about my sister are you?" Allison asked in a controlled yet frightening tone.

"Oh no." Chris gasped in fear.

"Would you like to dance Chris?" Rita asked hurriedly and with that they both disappeared leaving me wedged between an angry ex-lawyer who I suspected was a black belt and the clueless issue girl.

"Who are you?" The clueless wonder had the nerve to snap at Allison.

"I'm Stephanie's partner." Allison replied dryly. I felt no need to correct her, I liked the way it sounded when Allison referred to me as her partner.

"I don't think so." Josie challenged her.

"And I think you should leave." Allison growled.

"You look like you have some anger management problems." Josie retorted as if that was going to save her.

"And you look like a bleeder." Allison replied coldly. I could see Daisy stiffen from behind the bar preparing for trouble.

"Okay that's it." I said finally as I stepped away from Allison positioning myself between the two. I placed a calming hand on Allison chest. "Josie goodbye." I waved my hand at her to shoo her away and then turned to Allison. "Allison go drink your water and give Daisy an extra tip for worrying him." Allison muttered something under her breath and slunked over to the bar and followed my instructions. Josie just stared at me.

"Look Josie I'm with Allison." I liked the way that sounded. "Now please leave because frankly you are working my nerves." Josie looked horrified as she stomped off. I just rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to a certain tall beauty who was pouting as she sipped her bottle of water. I walked over to her.

"She seemed nice." Allison teased. "How did you ever let her get away?"

I slapped her playfully in the stomach and held a cautioning finger. "It's a good thing it's your birthday kiddo." I warned her. "You know she did." I said thoughtfully.

"Did what?"

"Seem nice." I explained. "When I first met her here, she seemed perfectly normal. It wasn't until I got her out in the light of day that she turned out to be a complete wacko. So are you enjoying your birthday?"

"Hmm." She answered. "I liked my presents."

"The flowers or the balloons?" I asked.

"The balloons but that wasn't the best one."

"No?" I played along sensing where this was going.

"Nope." She teased. "The best one was the one received in my bedroom earlier tonight."

"What was that?" I feigned innocence. "Oh you mean this one." I reached up and curled my fingers through her hair and pulled her down to me. I pressed my lips against her and kissed her. The kiss deepened quickly as I ran my tongue across her lips. She parted her own lips and granted me access into the warmth of her mouth. I pressed my body against hers as she ran her hands down my back. We broke the kiss as the need to breath became overwhelming.

"Yeah that was the one." Allison moaned as I teased her forearm by tracing a pattern on her bare skin with my fingers. Not for the first time tonight I was happy that she had me check her blazer.

"I don't think so." I said playfully. "As I recall we were lying on your bed and I had just started to grant your birthday wish when we were interrupted."

"Seems to be a pattern with us." She laughed. "Dance with me?"

"Are you trading your earlier wish for a dance?" I toyed with her.

"No." Allison answered seductively. "I still want to finish that, but if we try to do that here I think we might get arrested. For now I will accept a dance."

"Okay." I agreed as I took her hand. "Just one thing. Is Chris staying with you tonight?"

"Not a chance." Allison reassured me.

"Good." I responded as I squeezed her hand and led her out onto the dance floor.

As we stepped out onto the dance floor our bodies instinctively pulled together. We swayed in perfect rhythm to a remix of 'Downtown'. As she pulled me even closer to her I felt my breath escaping my body. I was certain that my heart would stop beating at any moment. As the next song started I ran my hands up her arms. I have no idea what song was playing. I was completely unaware of the music or the other people dancing around us. At that moment in time my only lucid thoughts were of her. I felt her hand gently grip my waist. We moved closer together. Our bodies pressed together only our breath separating us all of this done under the veil of dancing. We swayed in time as our hips melted together. Her breath was hot against my neck. My hands found the way down and were caressing her well-toned backside.

Suddenly the music stopped and could I hear the DJ's voice thanking everyone for coming as the room was flooded with bright white lights. The spell would have been broken if only we weren't still standing there holding each other. We both sighed as we spotted Chris and Rita approaching us hand in hand. "The ugly lights are on. Time to go." Chris grunted.

"Ugly lights?" I questioned.

"That's what they call it when the house lights come on at the end of the night." Rita explained. "Often between the drinking and the dimly lit dance floor you never get a good look at who you are with. The end of the night can prove to quite disappointing if not shocking at times."

"I'm hungry." Chris said suddenly. "Who wants to get something to eat?" She asked as we just stared at her dumbfounded. "What?" She snarled.

"How can you be hungry again?" Allison scoffed.

"I'm a growing girl." Chris retorted as she patted her well-toned stomach.

"Unbelievable." Allison grumbled.

While we waited in the seemingly endless line for the coat check Chris managed to convince us to go to an all night diner located in the south end. Chris also managed to get Rita's email address with relative ease. The girl was smooth; I had to give her that. I was secretly pleased to see Chris and Rita hitting it off. Of course my pleasure was born from a selfish desire to keep Chris as far away from Allison as possible. Allison stood beside me the entire time, her arm never leaving my waist. "Chris when is your flight?" Allison asked suddenly. "Are you sure that you have time to catch a bite to eat?"

"Not a problem." Chris reassured her. "I can catch a shuttle out in the morning."

"It is morning." Allison pointed out.

"Trying to ditch me Ally?" Chris made an attempt to sound playful but fell short as a hint of bitterness crept through.

Chris' question was followed by an awkward silence. Which Chris herself finally broke. "The truth is that I'm not expected back at the office until after the holiday. I can fly back anytime." Chris explained.

"Uh huh." Was Allison's only response.

"I thought I could spend sometime in Boston." Chris added. "You know so we can work on the case."

"Unbelievable." Allison muttered.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to put the pieces together. Chris thinking that Allison would be alone on her birthday, flew up to Boston in hopes of catching her in a vulnerable state. I had to give credit where credit was due it was a good plan. It would appear that I had thrown a monkey wrench into Chris' plans and she was none to happy about it. "Fine." Chris spoke finally as we retrieved our coats. "We'll just grab a bite to eat. Then drive back to Haven so I can pick up my rental car and then I will be on my way." Chris seemed to be conceding but not entirely, I couldn't help but notice. I quickly did the math in my head. By the time we would leave the club, drove across town, eat and then drove back to Haven it would be about time for Allison and I had to go to work. "You certainly are a clever girl, Chris. You won't be sleeping with Allison tonight and you're making damn sure that I won't be either."

There was no way I was going to give up so easily this time. I knew that Allison was ready to invite me to spend the night. I pulled Allison closer and leaned up so I could whisper in her ear. "Feel like playing hooky tomorrow?" I suggested in a husky tone.

"Why Dr. Grant?" She answered me with a slight blush and a lustful gaze.

She never answered me though? Perhaps I had read the signals wrong. "No way." I thought to myself. I was questioning myself once again when I found myself sitting in a small diner at four am. Chris had order an enormous amount of food and was taking her time eating. I simply ordered coffee, while Allison had settled on the clam platter. Another hour passed as Chris rambled on endlessly about anything and everything. I was on my seventh cup of coffee when I noticed that Allison had grown strangely quiet. I looked over at her with concern as I noticed that her normally dark complexion had paled.

"Hey I just noticed something." Chris said suddenly breaking me away from my thoughts. "You're not smoking."

"I quit." Allison responded in a somewhat confused state.

"I've heard that one before." Chris replied in disbelief.

"It's true." I defended Allison. "She has not had a cigarette since the first of the month."

"No kidding?" Chris asked. "Good for you Ally. I know that this is something that you always wanted to do."

There was a slight pause in the conversation as I looked back over at Allison. The woman looked terrible. "Are you all right?" I finally asked her. "I'm fine." She offered with a wave of her hand. "Just a little tired." Although I didn't believe her I decided to let it go for now. Chris went back to talking about her favorite subject which was of course herself.

"I find it hard to believe that no one asked you out in high school?" I found myself saying to Chris about twenty minutes later. Somehow the tall lawyer had managed to engage me in conversation.

"No one did." Chris explained. "All of the boys thought I was too tall. By the time I was sixteen I was already six feet tall. By the time the guys thought I was interesting, I discovered that I wasn't interested in them. Of course my not dating caused some concern with my parents. I remember the day I graduated from law school they were so proud. I decided it was time to tell them the truth about myself. My Mom burst into tears and My Dad threw me out of the house. I haven't spoken to them since."

"Their loss." Allison said bluntly as she absently rubbed her temple.

"Not all of us can have parents like yours Ally." Chris replied earnestly.

Allison smiled slightly. "Oh yeah my coming out was easy." She said in a shaky voice. "I was seventeen and they walked in on me and my girlfriend making out in my bedroom. They were relieved when I started dating boys again. Then after I went away to school I decided it was time to sit them down and have 'the talk'. I was terrified and I will never forget what they said."

"Well what did they say?" I asked.

"Do we look stupid." Allison said with a chuckle. "That was it. From then on they just simply accepted me for who I was."

"What about your parents Stephanie?" Chris asked me.

"They are both dead." I explained.

"I'm sorry." Chris answered with genuine kindness.

I was about to thank Chris for her kindness when I noticed that Allison was shaking slightly. "Allison?" I placed a hand on her shoulder. "What?" She answered absently.

"I think we need to get you home." I said quickly.

"Probably just the tequila." Allison tried to explain as she slumped over slightly.

"Chris?" I called to her in alarm. Without a word Chris jumped out of her seat and was helping Allison up. "I'll take her the car." Chris offered.

"I'll get the check." I volunteered.

Allison stumbled slightly as she stood her face turned an unnatural shade of green. "I think maybe I'll take her to the ladies room first." Chris said quickly as she rushed Allison towards the restrooms at the back of the diner. I motioned for the waitress and quickly paid the check. I raced towards the restrooms to help them. Just as I approached the bathroom the door swung open. Chris struggling to hold Allison up. I moved to Allison other side and helped Chris drag her outside to the car. As we placed Allison in the backseat I felt her forehead. She was burning up.

"I don't think it's the tequila sweetie." I said to Allison. Chris climbed into the backseat and held Allison.

"I have to agree." Chris said fearfully. "Based on the way that ladies room looked I have a bad feeling about the clams."

"Mass. General is just a few minutes away." I agreed as I plopped into the driver's seat and sped off.

When we pulled up to the front of the hospital I put the car in park and rushed over to assist Chris with Allison. Chris reached into Allison's pocket only to have her hands swatted away. "Hey I'm not trying to feel you up." Chris snapped "I need to get your wallet. " She reached down again and was once again pushed away. "Stephanie?" Chris pleaded. "We need her insurance card." I nodded understanding the urgency. I slipped my hands inside Allison's jacket and reached in the pocket of her jeans and pulled out her wallet. Not only did Allison not refuse my advances she pulled me closer to her. "Jesus Allison." Chris laughed as I pulled myself away from Allison's embrace. I pulled her insurance card from her wallet and handed it to Chris and shoved Allison's wallet into my pocket.

Just then a security guard began barking at me to move the car. "Do you know if Nicole is still listed as her contact person?" Chris asked me quickly. "Probably." I said as I hopped into the car. "Oh Chris!" I called out to her as she was entering the ER. "I think Nicole is on duty tonight you might want to have someone page her." I suggested as I pulled away.

I parked the car in one of the large parking garages and ran off to the emergency room. The placed was full of people. I found Chris and inquired as to what was happening. "They are seeing her now." Chris explained. "By the looks of it the clams at the diner were a big hit tonight. You were right Nicole is on duty and they paged her. That should make this fun." She sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just say there's no love loss between Nicole and I." Chris grunted. "I can't believe that someone allowed her to practice medicine."

"Really!" I shot back.

"Look I'm sorry." Chris apologized. "Let me try to explain. Nicole was booted out of med school because of her drinking. I watched her drag her family through hell and back. She lied to them, stole from them. The entire time I was with Allison I never once saw that girl sober."

"Well that's not the person I know." I countered. "I don't think you are being fair to her."

"Fair to her?" Chris laughed. "What's fair about being a spoiled brat who has no problem with sucking free legal services from me and then running to her sister telling her to dump me."

"Hold on Chris." I tried to calm her down. "Now let's be honest here. Granted using you was wrong, which I'm willing to bet she has already apologized for." Chris simply nodded in agreement. "But if you were Allison's sister how would you feel about her relationship? You told me yourself that you’re a womanizer."

"Honestly?" Chris asked slowly. "I would never let my sister be involved with anyone like myself. But then again my sister is a nun so I don't need to worry about it."

We sat down and awaited news on Allison's condition. The wait was becoming unbearable. "Tell me something Stephanie?" Chris asked suddenly. "Sure." I answered nonchalantly. "Did you know what I was up to tonight?"

"You mean keeping us out so late that we couldn't have time to do anything when we got home?" I responded with a shrug. "Oh yeah I figured it out fairly quickly. That is why I suggested to Allison that we both call in sick today."

"I knew I liked you." Chris smiled in response. Then she grew quiet for a moment before speaking again. "There something you should know. I really do like you but I love Allison. I fell for her the first moment I saw her. We started at the firm at the same time and she just took my breath away. But Jessica Beaumont was there first. I stood back and watched the two of them together for six very long months."

"Eight months." I said absently.

"No it was six." Chris corrected me. "It's not something that I'm likely to forget. The two of us ended up becoming friends and I had given up on ever being with her. Then one night years later it happened. I couldn't believe it. Then I screwed it up. You see I want Allison back and yet I don't want her back. I know that she doesn't love me. The one thing I want is for her to be happy. If you can make her happy then . . . look what I'm trying to say is don't ever hurt her."

"I won't." I answered frankly. "Now can I ask you something?" I questioned her. "If you love Allison this much then why did you cheat on her?"

"Good question." Chris sighed. "The first time was pure lust nothing else. The second time was because I got away with it the first time. Then I guess I kept doing it because deep down I suspected that she knew and she wasn't going to leave me. I thought I could have my cake and eat it too. Or maybe I suspected that she didn't love me. I think that was the real reason I was sleeping around. It was that I wanted to get caught. Perhaps that is why I brought that woman home to our apartment. Just my luck it proved to be one betrayal too many."

I tried to process everything that Chris was telling me. There was something nagging at me that I couldn't quite put my finger on. It wasn't what Chris had just confessed to me it was something Allison had said to me before. I was closing in on the answer when Chris interrupted my thoughts. "So tell me just what is going on with you and Allison?" Chris asked bluntly.

"It's complicated." I offered weakly.

"Yeah. I've already heard that line from Allison so give." She pushed.

I couldn't believe I was doing this but I answered her question honestly. "For starters when we met I was already involved." I explained.

"Oh." Chris said seeming to understand.

"With a man." I added much to Chris' surprise. "I didn't know that I was gay." I explained further.

"That explains it then." Chris said simply.

"That explains what?" Now I was lost.

"Well you know about Jessica." Chris began slowly. "But do you know about Brenda?"

"Brenda?" I asked. I had heard Nicole mention her once. "Who the hell is Brenda?" I blurted out.

"Brenda was Allison's first girlfriend." Chris explained as her face twisted in an odd expression. "The one from high school. She dumped Allison for a guy. She gave Allison the old it's been fun but it's not like I'm a queer or anything crap. Then she ends up marrying this guy and had the nerve to ask Allison to be the maid of honor at the wedding."

"What a bitch!" I exclaimed a little too loudly as the entire waiting turned around a stared at me.

"Basically." Chris agreed. "Nicole didn't take it too well when Allison agreed to go through with it. She beat the crap out Brenda. She ended up getting arrested for drunk and disorderly and assault and battery. The charges were dropped since Brenda wasn't in hurry to explain the situation to anyone. But everyone agreed that it would be best if Allison bowed out of the wedding party."

"The two of them certainly look out for each other." I said quietly. Chris just nodded in agreement.

"I think I understand what the problem is between the two of you." Chris offered in a comforting tone. "Allison can freak out so easily."

"I probably didn't help things by dragging my feet about breaking up with Peter." I added.

"Knowing Allison she probably stayed as far away from you as possible." Chris said in a disgusted tone. "She tries to put on this act like she has everything under control. But she can run away from her feelings faster than a politician can lie. Stephanie I would give anything if she would just look at me once the way she looks at you."

I could feel how difficult this was for her to admit. "So what do I do?" I pleaded helplessly.

"Don't give her a chance to over analyze this." Chris said aggressively. "Just go for it."

"That's easy for you to say." I confessed as I looked over at the statuesque beauty seated next to me.

I was mulling over everything Chris had told me. I knew that it could not have been easy for her. I thought about her advice and it frightened me a little. But there was something on my mind. "Six months. Eight months. Neither of them would have made that kind of error."

"What are you doing here snake?" A familiar voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Brat." Chris retorted to Nicole.

They glared at each other for a moment it appeared that there would be no cease fire coming anytime soon. "How is she?" I asked not caring about tension between the two women. The only thing I wanted to know about at this moment was Allison's health. These two can kill each other later. "She is going to be fine." Nicole reassured me.

A sigh of relief escaped from me. "But." Nicole began as I felt my chest tighten. "There is a problem." Nicole sat next to me and place a hand on my arm. "It was food poisoning. As you can see we've had a run of cases on that tonight. Now her doctor would like to keep her here over night just for observation. The attending physician agrees. Here's the problem Allison wants to go home."

"So what's the problem?" Chris interrupted. "If she needs to be in the hospital just explain it to her."

"I wasn't talking to you." Nicole snapped.

"That's enough." I growled stunning the both of them. "Now behave the both of you." I warned them. "Nicole what aren't you telling me?" I demanded.

"It's just that . . ." Nicole stammered. "Well Allison is . . ."

"Spit it out." I pushed.

"She's afraid." She finally admitted.

"What?" Chris said with disbelief.

I held up a cautioning hand up to Chris. I could see that Nicole was being truthful. "She's terrified of having to stay over night in a hospital." Nicole said quietly. I didn't need to know why. I could see the pain of Nicole's face of having to reveal Allison's secret. "Is it medically necessary for her to be admitted?" I asked firmly.

"No." Nicole answered. "It's just a precaution. Dr. Chang isn't going to release her though unless she knows that someone will be with her constantly for the next twenty four hours."

"That isn't a problem." I asserted. "I wasn't planning on leaving her side even if you did admit her. Now when can I take her home?"

"Thank you." Nicole sighed with relief.

"Hold on." Chris butted in. "If the doctor thinks she should stay. . . "

"No." I said firmly. It was at that moment that I realized that the neither of them would fight my choice. Both her sister and her ex-lover had left the decision up to me. I wasn't sure how or why but Allison's well being had been placed in my hands. It should have seemed strange or uncomfortable but it didn't. It seemed perfectly natural.

"She's been asking for you." Nicole stated. "Funny she didn't mention you snake." Nicole shot out at Chris who just glared in response. Nicole led me into the treatment area. On the way she explained that Allison had to be re-hydrated from all of the vomiting and the alcohol. Then she explained what I needed to watch out for and about the antibiotics that she needed to take. She also explained that Allison was pretty much out of it and she might be confused on and off for the next few days.

Allison looked terrible when I was led into the curtain area. I brushed her hair off of her face and took her hand. She smiled gently up at me. "I'm taking you home." I whispered to her. She just nodded in response and squeezed my hand. Nicole spoke to Allison's doctors and convinced them to release her into my care. Once she was stable enough Chris and I drove her home and put her to bed. I made up the couch for Chris and rushed downstairs and changed into a t-shirt and sweats and raced back upstairs. I peeked into the bedroom to find Allison resting comfortably.

"Long day huh?" Chris said from behind me.

"No kidding." I sighed as I turned to her. She had taken a shower and was wearing Allison's robe. I was too tired to get angry. "Chris I need to talk to you."

"I'm sorry if I was out line at the hospital." She apologized quickly. "I have to admit that, Allison was right when she told me you were easy to talk too. I don't know why I told you half the stuff I did. Well if I stepped on your toes or anything I just want you to know that I apologize."

I smiled at her sincere offering. "You were fine at the hospital." I offered in a friendly manner. "There is something bothering me and maybe you could help me out with it?"

"Shoot." She said as she plopped down on the sofa.

"Don't lawyers need to account for their time for financial reasons?" I asked.

"Always." She answered with a smile. "Billable hours makes the world go round."

"Allison isn't the type who would screw something like that up is she?"

"Not a chance." She answered with curiosity.

"So for her not to able to account for her whereabouts is very unusual?" I pushed a little harder.

"Tell me about it." Chris groaned in frustration. "That woman could probably tell you what she ate for breakfast every day for the past decade."

"She doesn't eat breakfast." I added absently as I tried to piece together my thoughts.

"I know that." Chris snapped back sarcastically.

"I'm sorry." I apologized quickly. "I'm just trying to put something together here. So bear with me okay." She nodded her agreement. "You and Allison were close friends before you were together. She told me that many times."

"Yes. I miss that with her." Chris replied.

"So does she." I said. "Now back to what I was saying. When you are that close to someone, you tell them everything like who you are dating right?" Chris simply nodded again. "Would there be any reason why you wouldn't tell someone about a person you were dating?"

"Lot's of reasons." Chris answered. "You're are embarrassed for some reason. Or you know that your friend wouldn't approve. Then of course if you are seeing someone who is involved. Or if you are involved and you are having an affair."

"Okay I can honestly say that the last one wouldn't have occurred to me." I said.

"What can I say?" Chris teased. "So where is all of this leading?"

"Two things I've heard tonight don't fit." I tried to explain. "Allison told me that when she first met me she was involved. But the two of you didn't start dating until later. When I asked her about that she lied to me and said she must have made a mistake. The other thing is that you told me she was with Jessica for six months."

"That's right." Chris answered in a bewildered tone.

"But sometime ago Allison said it was eight months." I explained hoping that she would get the connection without my having to tell her.

"You must have been mistaken." Chris insisted.

"Chris I have a PH. D in history." I sighed. "I live for details. I hate to say this but I think Allison knows exactly where she was on those dates in question."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that she was involved with someone that she didn't want anyone to know about." I spoke carefully. "Not then and certainly not now."

I watched her as the information sunk in. "Jessica." She finally admitted. "Damn it! They got back together."

"I think so." I confessed to her finally. "I also think that the husband knows and that is why he is going after Allison."

"Well this is just peachy." Chris groaned. "I will have to look into this. Damn it! If what you are saying is true then I spent three years of my life with someone who was on the rebound. This night has just sucked."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." She reassured me. "I'm going to get some sleep. I'll need to fly home today."

Without a word I left her with her thoughts and went into the bedroom and crawled into bed with Allison. I felt her shift slightly and wrap her arms around me. I set the alarm so I could call the office in a few hours. Then I turned out the light and curled into Allison's embrace and began to drift off. "Stephanie?" A very sleepy Allison called out.

"Yes, Allison?"

"Next year can we do something different for my birthday?" She yawned as she pulled me closer.

"Absolutely." I promised as we both fell asleep